Teen Poetry #8 |
When She Cries |
Sometimes_I_Google_Myself New Member
since 2007-01-27
Posts 3Austrailia |
The tears falling down her face were killing me, "This is best," she said, "Can't you see?" "No, I don't." replied with no emotion at all, faced with her tears, I can no longer fall. We used to be happy, it used to be good. I loved her the way that all men should. But she couldn't seem to stay away, When some guy came buy, one cold autumn day. He screwed in the back of his mom's four-door, Then told her to come back for more. And the kicker is she really wanted to, Leave me for him some guy she barely knew. And it used to be if she she'd start to cry, I'd go to the moon and back to dry her blue eyes. And now when she cries, all I'm left with is ice, And now I must say, "You were fun, it was nice." Because I can"t let her know, because now I'm free, But when she cries, it still kills me. The only reason I'd let you fall is because I want to catch you. |
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© Copyright 2007 Jason Raine - All Rights Reserved | |||
WaterFairy103 Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196 |
First of all, welcome to Pip. And second of all, this is amazing! Very nice, and the last sentence is so awesome I almost cried...very good! Dance like nobody's watching, |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
first off Welcome to Passions. Secondly this was amazing, I absolutly loved the feeling, the flow, the everything in this. hmmm if I know anything at all I know how tough this can be. Hope you can move on. best wishes, hunnie ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I loved this.. the emotion, the form, the detail, everything. This has to be a horrible place to be in life. Hope things get better soon. Looking forward to more post. Welcome to Pip! Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
Gosh, amazing first post! Absolutely wonderful first poem posted! this was filled with so much emotion..i think from this we really can relate to the pain you are feeling [still]...just by this it makes me wonder how you could ever get through it! anyway, amazing poem..really. welcome to passions ~missy |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi, Welcome to the teen forum of passions. It's awesome seeing a new face and reading the poetry you have to offer, most enjoyable read and I must say that I look forward to reading more of your work "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
oops I finally know where I thought of that first off secondly thing( maybe I should post comments before I read replies 'cos then it would really be an accident...) to make it not so hmmm repetitive un firstly and secondly. Well anyway again oops and great poem... hunnie ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
WElcome to pip! and great last line it really summed it up. |
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whitelielovely Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146Australia |
you made me cry. |
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