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Teen Poetry #8
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The Devil Can't Control Me Forever....
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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The Devil Can't Control Me Forever.... |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia 
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This is almost a sequal to "The Day In Which I Was Enlightened" Stop these voices that control my mind I’m shaking so slightly, scared of what I might find. The room is dark as I sit crying in despair There is blood on my T-Shirt and I don’t know how it got their Help me I scream, but nobody comes running to my side The devil controls me now and to his rules I must abide I take one step towards the edge the hurts too hard to explain I can’t control the memories they keep driving me insane I take off my shoes, all tacky and torn I step towards the edge knowing I should never have been born Blood trickles from the sky like raindrops on my skin A road appears before me, as I let the torture slowly begin But out of nowhere I hear a cry It’s my baby girl and I have to try Her plaintive cry saved me once but next time it may not That’s why I’m sitting her mam I need to see the Doc I think I need help and I need it now I need to live for Ella and I need to know how I can’t keep living in the past, all the hurt that I still feel This hurt needs to go away and you need to help me heal Each day is filled with just enough luck to get us to where we need to be Weather that be to a councillor or to our family we just need to wait and see I can’t give up like I once thought I could, I can’t keep crying, I need be strong just like my mother would Another tear will make us stronger And another trouble mightn’t make us live any longer But take each day as warm embrace Hold your head high and face each day with grace We are all human, some a little more than others We all live to be angels even our fathers and brothers It’s our destiny to wake up to ourselves before it is too late Ella saved me today and I know this is fate |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"There is blood on my T-Shirt and I don’t know how it got their" you spelled "there" wrong. I only point that out to help...  |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Thankyou.. i didn't proof read it properly... |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
You also spelled "councilor" wrong in the last paragraph but that's only by one letter so that was most likely accidental! anyway, great poem..strong feelings and i really loved it. I read it and it really didn't feel like it was forced rhyme which is great!! my favorite part: I can’t give up like I once thought I could, I can’t keep crying, I need be strong just like my mother would Another tear will make us stronger And another trouble mightn’t make us live any longer But take each day as warm embrace Hold your head high and face each day with grace We are all human, some a little more than others We all live to be angels even our fathers and brothers I really loved that because i think everyone can relate to that even if it's in a different way, whether they relate in the pain and hurt that you wrote in, or somehow in their own happiness and joy..It just translates different ways! Anyhoo, good job=] <>< ~missy My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away.. my love is a waste of time if you never stay |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Very powerful.. It moved me..nice YOu used the wrong weather.. You used that weather instead of whether |
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