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Teen Poetry #8

Restless

mnelson07
New Member

since 2007-01-15

Posts 7
Texas, USA

0 posted 2007-01-16 02:13 AM

I'm going through a lot right now with my family and I can't sleep because of it. So I transposed my insomnia-bearing thoughts to words and came up with this tonight.

Restless

My emotions are intangible,
my eyes red as my heart.
My thoughts are deludable,
my tears taste tart.

This is all so surreal,
I'm lost within my pain.
What am I supposed to feel?
I want someone to explain.

Why can't I comprehend?
Maybe it wasn't meant to be.
My throat begins to distend,
Nothing is guaranteed.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2007-01-16 02:32 PM

Love this. its really good. THere some spots that are just like WOW the flow and rhyme. Nice jobs

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2007-01-18 12:37 PM

This is all so surreal,
I'm lost within my pain.
What am I supposed to feel?
I want someone to explain.~

Hmmm I really thought this was going to be my favorite stanza so i copied it and then I read the last one and I really couldn't decide ahhhh!!!! haha i really agree with Rhia on this one. I loved it

hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

3 posted 2007-01-18 08:42 PM

i read your other poem then had to go and read all of your's on here so far..i most defiantly think you have a poetry head=p you are really good at poetry!
no forced rhyme at all! it just really really flowed!

amazing!
-marisa

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