Teen Poetry #8 |
Puppet on a string |
whitelielovely Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146Australia |
You have to learn to tell my truths from my few lies You think I’m faking so I’ll shut up and close my eyes I’m tired of being whoever everyone thinks i should I’m tired of breaking so now I chose to hide my face You too much – I don’t get you was I meant to be here for your selfish reasons? The old man pulling on strings is playing my life all wrong and twisted But for now I have to be a puppet completely out of control I hate those stupid stupid instances that life decides to use me for "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7 [This message has been edited by whitelielovely (01-09-2007 04:54 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2007 Whittney Larraine Lovely - All Rights Reserved | |||
rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
THE ryhming is really forced in this. I say kill the rhyme and free verse this |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
THE ryhming is really forced in this. I say kill the rhyme and free verse this |
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whitelielovely Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146Australia |
is that better "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
yes with ryhme but try ending it a little more concrete. |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
lovely my dear, i liked it, simple, easy to rememeber. -Red and if i had to choose between the whole world and you- there would be no competition |
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