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Teen Poetry #8

Life's Cruel Deception

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2006-12-19 02:13 AM

Life's Cruel Deception

Today I fell deep into life’s deception
And without waking up I had lost my protection.
It seems to be that everything I touch falls apart
And each time I fall in love I’m left with a broken heart.

Sometimes I seem to wonder just what I have done wrong
Why I’m not standing on a stage in front of a million people singing my own song.
Just like everybody else I have a dream
But most of the time these dreams are shattered and on you I lean

My luck, always seemed non existent
But you promised me it would be ok, our relationship you insisted
I never really thought about the step that I would take
About the blood that I would bleed and the mental scar it would make.

Today I fell into life’s deception
And without waking up I had lost my protection
You were gone, our love grew apart
And here I am again left with one hell of a broken heart.

whitelielovely
Member

since 2006-12-11

Posts 146
Australia

1 posted 2006-12-19 08:39 PM

well it looks as if we have one thing in common, a broken heart that can't seem to heal, nor does it seem to want to. i liked it my favorite type of poem it flowed pretty well. and it send the on of the best messages of that sort that i've ever seen.

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday."

Noelle - age 7

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2006-12-20 11:48 PM

Wow, i agree with Lovely, the flow was good, structure was good too. i thought this poem was very good with spreading the emotions...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

broken_smile1469
Member

since 2006-07-02

Posts 104

3 posted 2006-12-21 04:17 PM

i agree, great poem

DucksCanFly
Junior Member

since 2006-12-20

Posts 20

4 posted 2006-12-22 06:54 AM

Great poem. I thought it flowed really well and I love all the emotion. I've felt the same pain and thought you expressed it really effectively.

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