Summer Sneaking. - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

xCharliexChucklezx
New Member

since 2008-12-14

Posts 5
New Zealand.

0 posted 2008-12-14 03:27 AM

The night was high,
The breeze chilled,
When i saw your face,
I was thrilled.

"Grab your coat",
You said to me,
As we snuck out my window,
Silently.

As i made the leap,
My foot got caught,
Mother would never,
Let this lesson go uncaught.

We ran and we ran,
As fast as we could,
until the coast was clear,
Here we stood.

I remember that summer,
Very well indeed,
It was the summer,
Of simplicity.

As we sat on the beach,
Looking at the stars,
I vividly remember,
You touching my scars.

I gasped and pulled away,
You held on tighter,
"It happened long ago"
I felt so much lighter.

The walk home was easy,
I knew I'd already been caught,
I never got over,
The lesson you taught.

You don't understand,
The impact you had,
That night at the beach,
You're still a striking lad.

But now things have changed,
We've both moved on,
Life pushed us away,
But didn't lead us wrong.

Marc-Andre
Senior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 501

1 posted 2008-12-14 09:41 AM

Charlie, try to use blue or better still, black fonts. This is really killing my eyes. Nice poem, though

Mark

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2008-12-14 02:21 PM

Wow, this is A really good story I love it! I've been there before.. and you always move on

this really brings me back to those times.. thanks for sharing
Welcome to Passions
Krysti

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

3 posted 2008-12-15 07:16 PM

Nice poem!!!

I love pancakes!!!

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

4 posted 2008-12-15 07:19 PM

Hmm I could of sworn that I already commented on this poem.. Anyway.. This is a really good poem. And yeah blue or black helps your readers to read your work.. lol. its just a thought. Great writing, Keep it up.

-Zach

So together but so broken inside

KandyGrl511
Member

since 2008-11-30

Posts 52
Michigan

5 posted 2008-12-26 08:08 PM

i really liked it

HopelessPoet
Junior Member

since 2008-12-18

Posts 14

6 posted 2008-12-26 08:48 PM

That was a passionate poem, I really enjoyed reading it.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.