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Teen Poetry #8
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save me from the wreckage
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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save me from the wreckage |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN 
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somebody check my pulse i dont think im breathing im losing this fight for life and like a stone, im sinking somebody save me pull me from the wreckage this broken pile of nothing is all i have to salvage im a mess and im all alone i can hear you in the airwaves i need you to tell me that i will live and that it will be okay the echoes of my past still haunt me to this day wishing that the scars will die but they will never fade somebody check my pulse i know im not breathing please dont let go of my hand because its saving me from sinking |
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| © Copyright 2008 Bryan Lucas - All Rights Reserved | |||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Wow i know that feeling all too well.. Great work! -Zach I'D RATHER BE ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY!!!! XP |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
Amazinig!!! That feeling is all too familiar to me. Great work, I love your poems!!! "Life is too confusing, but I like it that way!" |
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ruskins Junior Member
since 2008-11-27
Posts 15 |
A Clockwork Orange is a theatrical masterpiece. I've lived many a moment such as that myself. Dosn't always work, but I sometimes just remind myself that things can always be worse. just remember, you still have your limbs, mental cognition, a place to sleep, food to eat; and you don't have to worry about a bomb crashing through your house in the middle of the night, killing you and your entire family. Dreary, I know, but it happens. Simple fact is... Life sucks....from time to time. The key to battling such hardship is to find your realm of power, a passion which excites you more than anything else, and instill it into the very fiber of your being (like poetry or music for instance) speaking of which, when I get to feeling like letting go and throwing everything away, I write a poem about someone in a worse position than myself. It might work for you as well. I'm sorry for such a lengthy comment; It's just that, though you probably don't believe it, I've been there before, and I think what you're going through is one of the worst feelings a person can possibly endure. I really liked your poem btw, keep them coming. Remember no matter how tumultuous and violent a storm gets, the sun always breaks through the clouds eventually. |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Bryan- I have always enjoyed your writing... and this is no exception. Great job. What would you attempt to do...if you knew you could not fail?. |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
ty all SO much it means alot really. |
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Ri Member
since 2008-02-01
Posts 67Blackburn, England |
This is outstanding, it's easy to relate to and flows brilliantly |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Great write Bryan... As always... Nothin new too say really.. you always write such beautiful things... "Check My Pulse I'm Not Breathing" "Hell I Stopped Long Ago" "The Angels Are Tired Of Saving Me" "And I've Got No Place Else To Go" |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I like the last stanza the most- it really summed it. Only suggestion I have is maybe capitilize the 'I's but thats just me being picky. I liked it- it was good . Good writing! Rhia |
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AcousticPen Junior Member
since 2008-12-01
Posts 13Florida USA |
I really like the style you use in your poetry and I cant wait to read more! I really feel like I can relate not just to your message but how you deliver it. -Scott Vukelic |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
you always did amaze me with your words Bryan.. loved this and I have greatly missed your poems while I was away Krysti |
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