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Teen Poetry #8

Changed By Force

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-10-31 09:02 PM

Dedicated To Jessica

The clincher is coming
Her hands close tight
She wont go down
Without a fight

Insipid; her fears
They are simply reformed
Dedicated to the situation
Her mind is reborn

A new soul awakes
From the ashes of old
Those once friendly eyes
Now empty and cold

A diffrent person
In the same sad skin
A tormented angel
That wishes the end

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

1 posted 2006-10-31 09:30 PM

Temp,
I so wanna jump on u and giv u a kiss. Trust me though i promise u will never escape me if i did...

Luv u lots,
From an amazingly humbled
Jessica

Renegade
Junior Member

since 2006-10-21

Posts 22

2 posted 2006-11-18 01:29 PM

lol thats why i hate my name: at every corner there is another Jessica (my name is jessica)
i wish my parents got me a different name.

I think it would be good if you added like visual detail with metaphors of the deep meaning your normally trying to put across

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2006-11-21 12:25 PM

nice flow i enjoyed this very much...
hunnie

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

4 posted 2006-11-21 12:32 PM

wow! i really really liked this, it had PERFECT flow, seriosuly...it's sweet = D :: thumbs up ::

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

5 posted 2006-11-22 09:47 PM

i agree with forever*wishing...couldn't have said it any better

pencil&paper
Member

since 2006-09-09

Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head

6 posted 2006-11-29 08:40 PM

really really GREAT poem, i LOVED the last stanza it was perfect

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."~Angela Monet

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

7 posted 2007-06-24 01:58 PM

you never ceast to amaze me tempest.

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