»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #8
»
Speaking Prayers, Sleeping Eyes
| Teen Poetry #8 |
|
Speaking Prayers, Sleeping Eyes |
|
|
RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia 
|
NAMED BY TEMPEST (Thanx  )STOP, please help me, I’m losing control. I’ve fallen off the edge of serenity and now I lay lifeless in a hole. My blood is full of hatred, and I’m afraid I’ll hurt someone if I’m not cured I want to share the hurt I feel, and to you I am lured. I’ll spin you into my web of lies, I’ll break your heart to my command you will abide You wait til I have you firmly under my thumb I’ll leave your body cold and numb. I’ll hold you closely whilst you drink poison from my cup. Scream and shout if you must, but please learn that it’s better to give up. Let me torture you the same way these voices torture me Maybe then next time when I ask for help you won’t flee. Somebody save me from the person I have become Teach me how to be a nice little girl who goes shopping with her mum Let me be taught respect and manners to the highest form of degree Then watch me focus on my schooling and appreciate the true me So as you go to sleep tonight say a little prayer for me, the girl that isn’t sleeping For she is lying in her bed shaking whilst she is weeping Pray that somebody will save her and that she will learn to live Then maybe one day you will learn to appreciate exactly what she must live with [This message has been edited by RevengeIsMine (10-30-2006 01:05 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2006 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
OK so i really like naming poems that have out there meanings that you have to look for to understand, but since you say "so as you go to sleep tonight say a little prayer for me, the girl that isnt sleeping" i think a cool title would be "speaking prayers,sleeping eyes" but you dont have to take my advice, i just think it would sound cool anyways, the poem itself was interesting to me because you really feel the anger, frustration, and contemptment in your words. very sweet! i really have to hand it to you, i dub thee "wordspinner"...yo. |
||
|
rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I loved all of this expecially the last stanza, nice idea for a title Tempest |
||
|
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
YAY! you liked the name, you liked the name! im glad that you took my advice on the name, it sounds soooo cool. it makes me happy please check out "the fabric of reality" |
||
|
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
theres an obvious reason for boosting this piece.......its amazing |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
