Revenge May Be Mine, But The Kryptonite Is Yours...

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Teen Poetry #8

Revenge May Be Mine, But The Kryptonite Is Yours...

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2008-06-05 07:19 AM

I hate the tears you make me cry
I hate the way you never say goodbye
I hate the way you call my name
And I hate the way you think I’m a shame

I hate it when you never tell me you’re proud
I hate the way you hardly come around
I hate the way you never kissed me goodnight
And I hate the way when you show up we always seem to fight

I hate the scars you’ve burnt on my chest
And I hate the way you think you know best
I hate the man who broke my heart
I hate the man who tore me apart

The scars they never stop bleeding and the pain never goes away
But I guess that’s why I’m crying because you came back today
All it takes is another smile and once more I melt inside
And all the hate I have for you, once again just died

I hate the way you think you can make everything alright
But this war is yours alone cause I can’t stand to fight
I hate the way you walk away and always leave me sad
I hate the way I love you and I hate that you’re my dad

The revenge may well be mine, but my kryptonite is you
So sit and watch me die inside, from all the hell you put me through

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2008-06-05 08:45 AM

That's a great title you've got there.

Wish it were mine.

I see your critique flag is on, but I would merely quibble--it's just a matter of preference of writing in symbolist suggestion, or simply to the point. I like repetition, m'self, but all of those "I hate" confuse me as to how your protagonist could find "kryptonite" so alluring. I think a point/counterpoint repetition of "I love--"/"I hate" would be effective.

But still, love your title, and mercy, don't I know the story! So have a hug, for the inspiration of it.

Enjoyed.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

2 posted 2008-06-05 05:15 PM

This is a wonderful poem Jess, I'll always be here for you hun.

{~~*~~}

{&]ebbing.away.from*my.pain.}}
{~Emily~}

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

3 posted 2008-06-05 11:17 PM

Beautiful. I particularly like this line:

I hate the way I love you and I hate that you’re my dad

I hope you're OK. Exelent poem on all accounts and it's headed to my library.

Sanity is NOT a matter of statistics.
The earth is round, germs cause desease, and God speaks.

I am insane of course BUT STILL!!

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

4 posted 2008-06-07 11:40 PM

aching, hurting, and angry... the perfect elements to make a perfect poem. although its hell to get the words.

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