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Teen Poetry #8
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There's Evilness In This Poem its called POLITICS
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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There's Evilness In This Poem its called POLITICS |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia 
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First Off plz note I AM NOT A HIPPY... 2nd My friend Jen Named this poem. 3rdly if u have always liked my work plz dont hate it cause of this poem.. HERE GOES There’s Evilness In This Poem Its Called Politics A new day has dawned, a new fear now exposed Awake is now the new asleep as you slowly erode Words of hurt thrashed across from one side of the world to another An ear piercing scream travels through ones body causing a terrifying shudder The world is in terror as another bomb is dropped The Terrorists are attacking and it can’t be stopped What’s this world coming to and what do we make of it Should we stand up for what we believe in or just sit down and shut up? Nobody is allowed to believe in a culture Racism is so common now they just hunt you down like vultures. So many people still believe in god But honestly what is the point when 99% of us are just shot and robbed. Hatred is so common now not a smile is seen in sight We used too once walk the streets with so many faces shining bright. The world has changed not for the better but for the worst We try to keep our emotion in but all of a sudden we just burst Everyone is so unique, but we remain all the same We are judged by so many and they do it just to bring hurt and shame Words of hurt should remain unspoken The pain caused by one leaves our hearts thrashed deeply open Another storm in a teacup is waiting to be released All we need is another politician to unleash a terrifying beast Let this storm in a teacup teach the world a lesson Let’s tie up the President and take him to a psychiatric session Let the politicians of this world see how we live Let them see the tears we cry and the money we live with. I will take this to George Bush, Or John Howard I’ll rock up at their door, with breakfast cooked in lard Then I will make them understand the evilness within this piece The word politics says it all, arrogance, criticism, and NOT world peace |
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| © Copyright 2006 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
ohh not one of your best, but i'm not that into politics either. i don't think anyone would hate you b/c you think you had a fluke poem... i don't hate you haha this had good thoughts to it too... hunnie*  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Hunnie, This one is so lame compared to most of my poems, Just u wait i will bounce back. LOL Hugs, Jess |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
It was ok.It could use puncuation tough. A new day has dawned, a new fear now exposed(.) Awake is now the new ( , )asleep as you slowly erode Words of hurt thrashed across from one side of the world to another ( .) An ear piercing scream travels through ones body causing a terrifying shudder(.) The world is in terror as another bomb is dropped( , ) (The) Terrorists are attacking and it can’t be stopped*delete What’s this world coming to and what do we make of it(?) Should we stand up for what we believe in or just sit down and shut up? *too long shorten that idea Nobody is allowed to believe in a culture(,) Racism is so common now they just hunt you down like vultures. So many people still believe in god ( , ) (B)ut honestly what is the point when 99% of us are just shot and robbed. ** de capitalize Hatred is so common now not a smile is seen in sight( , ) We used too once walk the streets with so many faces shining bright. The world has changed not for the better but for the worst* too awkyard here. We try to keep our emotion in but all of a sudden we just burs(, ) Everyone is so unique, but we remain all the same( ,) We are judged by so many and they do it just to bring hurt and shame* ahh to long wut about,' judged by to many, just to bring hurt and shame.' still awkyard though.hmm... Words of hurt should remain unspoken *too true (The) pain caused by one(one what) leaves our hearts thrashed deeply open* change to and Another storm in a teacup is waiting to be released( . )*nice imagery All we need is another politician to unleash a terrifying beast ( . ) Let this storm in a teacup teach the world a lesson(,) (Let’s) tie up the President and take him to a psychiatric session( . ) delete the lets,maybe Let the politicians of this world see how we live ( ,) *too many lets in this, maybe take it out, it keeps coming up and throws ur poem. Let them see the tears we cry and the money (that) we live with. I will take this to George Bush, Or John Howard I’ll rock up at their door, with breakfast cooked in lard(.) Then I will make them understand the evilness within this piece(,) (The) word politics says it all, arrogance, criticism, and NOT world peace ( .) *delete, and politics? or politician |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
ok, i know that poeople like our age never write about this kind of stuff, and thats why i like it. this is a good poem. and yah i would have to travel alot to slap you, but if you quit writing....well it would be worth it(all the travel) and as for the finding you part...that would be easy. i would just ask anyone where does the amsome australian poet live? and they would know exastly what i was talking about |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Rhia, Thanks as u may see my grammer isn't as good as sum pepole. But hey if we have pepole like you around to tell us what we are doing wrong then thats ok.... So Thanks Again.. Tempest,  Once again another comment that made me smile. What is it with all you pepole who just like making me smile.. Anyways off to write another poem before i go for a run.. Cheers, Jessica ** |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
okaie i will wait for your bounce can't wait to read more poems. hunnie A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Should i be flattered? |
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