Teen Poetry #8 |
Tolerant |
Baby_Girl Junior Member
since 2008-05-10
Posts 21OH, United States |
Tolerant I put up with every thing you do. I listen to you, But you don’t listen to me. You blow me off like a fly on your shoulder. You treat me like I am at your beck and call. I am not your toy that you can play with at any time, Then leave when your done, And leave me sitting in a dark and dusty corner. You say you love me, But where is the proof. Your words don’t mean a thing to me anymore. I say I love you, But I at least mean it. ~Baby_Girl~ |
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© Copyright 2008 Kalysta Kimmel - All Rights Reserved | |||
hiddensmiles Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514at the beach... i wish |
good job!! and welcome to passions JJ |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi Baby_Girl, Welcome to passions! I love seeing new faces and reading their poetry. I hope to see you more often. I do have a personal quirky though and that is capitalization of the first letter in each line, I find it to be a little distracting to read when this is done, of course many people have opinions in regards to this so whatever floats your boat. I think you did a good job in using the title, I think you demonstrated tolerance within the poem greatly by the actions of the "characters", which was wonderful to see. Anyway, best of luck to you, I'm looking forward to seeing what else you have written. |
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Baby_Girl Junior Member
since 2008-05-10
Posts 21OH, United States |
Hey Guys! Thanks for the warm welcome... Also feel free to critique me any time... I love to know when and where i mess up... Thanks alot. Baby~Girl Baby~Girl |
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jbal892 Member
since 2007-11-25
Posts 58 |
wow awesome first write! I just went through something like this! |
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Bahigano Junior Member
since 2008-05-13
Posts 31Nebraska |
Hey, I think that was very well written i just joined Piptalk. So i don't know a whole lot but i have been reading the poems and i think yours is good. Always Lea |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
wow Kalysta, wood love to read more, this was a great 1st post Welcome to Passions Krysti |
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Mexican Cutie Junior Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 18 |
hey i really like ur poem. i know what u mean, i'm goin threw the same thing. |
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Britt_Brat Junior Member
since 2008-03-05
Posts 37Knoxville, TN |
great write. i can feel it. And welcome to piptalk. hope to see more of ur stuff cut and bleeding |
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