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Amic
Junior Member

since 2008-02-17

Posts 39
...I think Im lost again...

0 posted 2008-04-01 02:48 PM

A knife cuts deep
It twists and turns
You cant escape
Yet it starts to burn
You look
Up to see your heart in their hands
You scream “NO
This can not be the end”

You step forward to fight
Realizing the pain
Your body cringes
As you see
The damage
You try to walk towards them
But now they grab your throat
They are persistent that
You will not escape

You look to the skies
And pray to the heavens
There must be a way
You can not be defeated
This way
This can not be how it ends

crimsonXnails
Member

since 2008-02-10

Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.

1 posted 2008-04-01 02:55 PM

hey hey,
amazing!! a little creepy, but it was awsome. great write!
!Tracey!

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

Amic
Junior Member

since 2008-02-17

Posts 39
...I think Im lost again...

2 posted 2008-04-01 03:03 PM

Thanks, It was supposed to be a little creepy.

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

3 posted 2008-04-01 04:12 PM

goodwrite here!! but yes a little creepy. i still like it thou

JJ

masksrlife
Member

since 2008-03-26

Posts 109
Canada

4 posted 2008-04-01 04:34 PM

I also love this poem. The stanzas are all really good but i diffenitly love this one the best.

A knife cuts deep
It twists and turns
You cant escape
Yet it starts to burn
You look
Up to see your heart in their hands
You scream “NO
This can not be the end”

Theres so much power in just a couple sentances.
Great write.

*crazycece*

CrimsonTears
New Member

since 2008-04-01

Posts 5
Over The Rainbow

5 posted 2008-04-01 04:40 PM

I like this poem you have written a lot. It explains so much and has so much meaning put into it. Keep on writing.

runningwithdoubt---x

rockangel_gv
Junior Member

since 2008-03-29

Posts 43

6 posted 2008-04-01 05:15 PM

Great write. Its cool

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

7 posted 2008-04-01 07:20 PM

yea it was a little creepy but i liked it

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

Amic
Junior Member

since 2008-02-17

Posts 39
...I think Im lost again...

8 posted 2008-04-01 08:04 PM

Im glad you guys like it

... ITs not about murder... or killing... just so you know. It may seem like it, im not sure if anyone will really get it but, I hope so.

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

9 posted 2008-04-02 10:23 AM

Oh I get it Amic. (shudder) A very creepy expression definatly, a brilliant poem none the less!
Let me guess, a hopless love poem? Your descibing the pain and the hoplessness of an unreturned love. It won't let you escape but it hurts you instead of bringing you joy like it should.
I might be wrong but that's what I got out of it. Brilliant!

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

Amic
Junior Member

since 2008-02-17

Posts 39
...I think Im lost again...

10 posted 2008-04-02 10:50 AM

Earl you are so very close! Thx for all the opinions guys!

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

11 posted 2008-04-02 08:44 PM

i got the same as earl.

JJ

ShawtySheFly
Member

since 2007-12-19

Posts 71
In his Elevator (LOL)

12 posted 2008-04-03 03:41 PM

that's really good yeah creepy and all but it adds character

I.>ROCK"my<Converse^cuz%i'm`RETRO*likeDAT

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

13 posted 2008-04-03 06:31 PM

yea i'll agree this is sort of creepy. and a little disturbed but its a poem and poems can be about anything. its a pretty good poem.

XxZachXx

"What did you think I ment?"

haha yes im sort of crazy deep down inside. lol!!

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