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krad008
Member

since 2008-02-20

Posts 82

0 posted 2008-03-25 01:54 AM

A cool breeze passes through my bedroom window
Im alone in my room getting ready for a date
I sit don on my bed and wonder how I even got a chance with her............
How.........?

I put on a nice black long sleeved arrow shirt
And wonder if she'll think I look nice.....
I put on some cologne and make sure my hair looks good

So I walk outside and drive to her house.
Trying to make sure I have a good song on

I get to her house and ring her doorbell.
Her mom answers and invites me in...
She offers me a seat to sit down so I sit down
Waiting for a beautiful thing to come down

Its not prom
Its not homecoming
Its not a formal
Just a date, a special one

Shes finally ready and walks down wearing what she always wears.
Her Abercrombie and Fitch with her blue jeans,but this
time, she looks even better......

A tornado of thoughts go through my mind I look at her and I think to myself.......how did I ever have a chance with this girl.....
how.......?

She smiles at me and I think wow
I take her hand and we walk out to my car and drive away

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

1 posted 2008-03-25 02:12 AM

"She offers me a seat to sit down so I sit down
Waiting for a beautiful thing to come down"

i looove these lines. especially the second one. your descriptiveness makes the poem so personal and creates great imagery. good work

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

krad008
Member

since 2008-02-20

Posts 82

2 posted 2008-03-25 02:53 AM

ty finally someone gets it. Its supost to create an image in your mind. And people i showed it to just werent getting it. And it is full of personal thoughts

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2008-03-25 03:49 AM

they didnt get it??? wth!!! This was such an amazing poem I absolutly loved it!! actually I found it sooo sweet Im going to put it in my library. and do feel honored cos' I havent put a poem in my library for ohh at least.. a year! hehe
Krysti

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2008-03-25 10:48 AM

it's nice to read it from a guys point of view

very sweet

ShawtySheFly
Member

since 2007-12-19

Posts 71
In his Elevator (LOL)

5 posted 2008-03-25 11:48 AM

i agree that it's nice to hear what a guy thinks when you know she's in her room wit butterflies do you get me??? We don't really stop to think we all make eachother so twisted wondering why??????? GOOD JOB

I.>ROCK"my<Converse^cuz%i'm`RETRO*likeDAT

krad008
Member

since 2008-02-20

Posts 82

6 posted 2008-03-25 03:53 PM

well thanks for the comments I really apprecaite them. Not to many guys will post a poem like this. And well theres gonna 3 more parts to this poem. Part 2 3 4 and still to come

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