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Teen Poetry #8
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Limbo
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Limbo |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois 
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Okay this is two different poems i wrote during a math quiz cuz i was bored of doing math lol. Anyway these tw opoems are partially about the same subject. one poem might have another meaning in it idk. well here it is.. -------------------------------------------------- Twilight fading Tides all wading Never sleeping Never awake Time stands still, Tranquility. Sinking in the ground Wondering if I'll be found In this place where i call home. Never seeing what is light But always see my shadow, Daybreak ------------------------------------------ Stuck in the shawdows of my light Barely breathing, barely have any sight Leaves falling to the ground. Love is lost, was it ever found? Shades of gray fill my life Always seeing all the strife Minute hand stop, clock froze How will I: escape? Only God knows.... XxZachxX |
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| © Copyright 2008 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Forgive my impudence and all-around randomness. I had no idea what you were saying in your first poem. You had a lot of fluffy words and incoherentness (is that a word?) Then I read the second poem and I understood it a bit better. I liked the second line: "Barely breathing, barely have any sight" It reminded me of a newborn baby. Thanks for sharing! We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly by embracing each other. |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Forgive my impudence and all-around randomness. I had no idea what you were saying in your first poem. You had a lot of fluffy words and incoherentness (is that a word?) Then I read the second poem and I understood it a bit better. I liked the second line: "Barely breathing, barely have any sight" It reminded me of a newborn baby. Thanks for sharing! We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly by embracing each other. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
yes i sgree too assasin. the first poem was just words that came to mind that went with the scheme. but the second one is more understandable. thanks for reading!! XxZachXx |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
wow, at first i wasn't going to read them but im glad i did. They both are lovely, and yeah so what the first one wasnt about anything inparticular? heck, i dont even UNDERSTAND my own poems sometimes! but anyway, they are both brilliant..great job. {~~*~~} {&}Love*liesOfBeauty~[NowColdInMyHand] |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
Well I'm suprised; not that these are exelent poems, (which they are) but that the first one didn't make sense to allot of people. It made perfect sense to me...maybe I'm just crazy like that! It's your title Limbo, being stuck in a shade of grey. made sense to me... "Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl |
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fromme2U Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257 |
Wow the first one really made me visualize someone being so bored that the person just stood still while life around flowed at its normal pace and then I read the second one and said to myself this is so beautiful...loved it!!!great job! |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Earl thats what i thought that everyone would think but guess i was wrong. But thanks i guess we're just the perfect match being crazy in all. lol. And thanks Fourm thats what the first one was sort of about considering that i was bored when i was writing it lol. but i thought my second one would be more emotional and have meaning behind it. but thanks for reading!! XxZachXx |
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masksrlife Member
since 2008-03-26
Posts 109Canada |
These poems are both really amazing! |
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