Teen Poetry #8 |
Lover's War On 32nd & 9th |
RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Well guys hmm i'm not sure i like this, i'm not sure if its my best.. this poem is about my aunt and uncle there relationship ended a few years back.. put a huge strain on the family, she swore she'd come back, she never did really. Fragments of this poem are old work I've had in notebooks but never finished... and i only really decided to write about it after i heard the song Hang by Matchbox 20.. anyways here's my poem.. not sure what to think of it but u guys will tell me.. _______________________________________________________ Lover's War On 32nd & 9th If you want a poem that gets attention Then this the way it goes So grab a drink and kill your last brain cells And we’ll drink to what we know He sits there and he’s broken Like apart of him’s been torn I guess she’s really gone And her memory has been born If this is the last day of her life then this is really goodbye After all the promises she’d made, after all the words she’d wrote She grabs her magazines, she packs her things and she goes She leaves her picture on the wall, she leaves you a note She’d only been here two small years But it wasn’t right to feel this old He’d brought out the worst in her He made her lifeless and cold She’d always told him That she’d go away Come back a few years later And then he could convince her to stay So if there’s nothing there And you’ve got nothing left to say Then I’m afraid she’ll be leaving She’ll just walk away Trouble is he don’t understand That she’s got reasons he don’t It’s funny how he couldn’t see it Until she grabbed her coat You scream out to her but she goes She’s been here too few years she can’t keep saying no Deep down you really love her But still you let her go This won’t work out like you think This won’t be a lyric that can be sang There’s nothing there to ease the pain So I’m afraid her presence will just hang He drinks his whisky but his hand reaches for the phone But then it really hits him If he had a heart he wouldn’t be alone If you want a poem that gets attention Then this the way it goes So grab a drink and kill yourbrain cells And we’ll drink to what we know |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
ohh wow Jess hunn.. i love this.. such a powerful write Krysti |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Thanks Krysti... means soo much.. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
wow this is really good!! XxZachxX |
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I am the arch angel Member
since 2008-02-02
Posts 167nowhere,illinois,USA |
obviously this is a wonderful wright and i like it a lot! jess as i said before on one of your poems that you have some great talent and i hope things in your life go better much love! keagan earn your freedom of the charge of sacrificing your life for others |
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