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Teen Poetry #8

sleeping daggers

crimsonXnails
Member

since 2008-02-10

Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.

0 posted 2008-02-24 11:41 PM

the words you spoke,
peirced my heart like daggers,
just to weak, to pull them out,
i lay here, saying "later".

procrastinating, breathing hard,
can't even raise a bloody hand.
i'm praying for a caring heart,
to re direct
the hour glass sand.

i've gone completely empty,
inside, my heart's complete,
the daggers that have wounded me,
have even gone to sleep.

*i know it's a little choppy, it was a real quick write.*
!Tracey!

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

1 posted 2008-02-25 06:03 AM

its was pretty good. i liked it alot.like you said, choppy, but good.

shattered-smiles
Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 247
inside the shadows

2 posted 2008-02-25 09:10 AM

Hey Trac, this is a really good write. I would just suggest instead of putting it in Dark Poetry, put it in Teen Poetry. It doesn't exactly seem all that dark. But do with it what you want, I'm just giving my opinion.
TJ

[&] she's a blood broken rose

crimsonXnails
Member

since 2008-02-10

Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.

3 posted 2008-02-25 09:43 PM

hey hey,
i actually put it in teen poetry, maybe you just thought you were reading dark poetry at the time. srry fer the confusion.
!Tracey!

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

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