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Teen Poetry #8
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BloodFairy18
Junior Member
since 2008-02-22
Posts 12
Canada

0 posted 2008-02-22 06:10 PM



The Girl Was Interupted
Her Heart Was Broken
And Her Mind Was Corupted

She Was No Longer
Normal Or Sane
They Couldnt Have Been Wronger
When They Said She Was Lame

Tedious She Was
Unable To Stand Still
She Had A Constant Buzz
That They Could Not Forfill

There Was No Hope For Her
Lost She Would Always be
No One To Help Her
No One Could See

So Now Shes Alone
Without A Cause
Her Heart Is Stone
And Shes Made Of Flaws

She Is The Girl Interupted

© Copyright 2008 Shelby Russell - All Rights Reserved
hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish
1 posted 2008-02-22 06:42 PM


I enjoyed this...hopeing to read moree
!!


Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
2 posted 2008-02-22 06:44 PM


well dispite what your critiques say this poem is very good. i can't wait to see more of your work!

~Zach~  



SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2008-02-22 07:21 PM


welcome to pip!

*please check your email for a special greeting

Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
4 posted 2008-02-22 09:44 PM


Exelent first post!
I know exactly what this is talking about, I hope your not hurting.

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
5 posted 2008-02-22 09:47 PM


I agree with Earl, this is a really great poem. I also know what you were talking about, hope to see more.

FoReVeRbRokEn

BloodFairy18
Junior Member
since 2008-02-22
Posts 12
Canada
6 posted 2008-02-23 11:26 AM


aww thank you guys :P , i didnt know people would actually like it
hunnie_girl
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Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
7 posted 2008-02-23 01:22 PM


ahh very nice poem. Welcome to Passions
hmmm not to be the rain on the parade but just some grammar errors.. Wronger(more wrong) and Forfill(fulfil?) but great first post hope to read more
Krysti

BloodFairy18
Junior Member
since 2008-02-22
Posts 12
Canada
8 posted 2008-02-23 02:59 PM


ya i relised wronger wasnt proper grammer but i didnt think it really mattered lol , and but thanks for letting me know :P
Dark Star
Member
since 2008-02-20
Posts 392
Lost in your eyes
9 posted 2008-02-23 03:18 PM


welcome
xoxoxox-star

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
10 posted 2008-02-24 10:10 AM


WELCOME TO PIP!

ARCTIC WIND

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