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BloodFairy18
Junior Member

since 2008-02-22

Posts 12
Canada

0 posted 2008-02-22 06:10 PM

The Girl Was Interupted
Her Heart Was Broken
And Her Mind Was Corupted

She Was No Longer
Normal Or Sane
They Couldnt Have Been Wronger
When They Said She Was Lame

Tedious She Was
Unable To Stand Still
She Had A Constant Buzz
That They Could Not Forfill

There Was No Hope For Her
Lost She Would Always be
No One To Help Her
No One Could See

So Now Shes Alone
Without A Cause
Her Heart Is Stone
And Shes Made Of Flaws

She Is The Girl Interupted

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

1 posted 2008-02-22 06:42 PM

I enjoyed this...hopeing to read moree
!!

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

2 posted 2008-02-22 06:44 PM

well dispite what your critiques say this poem is very good. i can't wait to see more of your work!

~Zach~

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2008-02-22 07:21 PM

welcome to pip!

*please check your email for a special greeting

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

4 posted 2008-02-22 09:44 PM

Exelent first post!
I know exactly what this is talking about, I hope your not hurting.

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

5 posted 2008-02-22 09:47 PM

I agree with Earl, this is a really great poem. I also know what you were talking about, hope to see more.

FoReVeRbRokEn

BloodFairy18
Junior Member

since 2008-02-22

Posts 12
Canada

6 posted 2008-02-23 11:26 AM

aww thank you guys :P , i didnt know people would actually like it

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

7 posted 2008-02-23 01:22 PM

ahh very nice poem. Welcome to Passions

hmmm not to be the rain on the parade

but just some grammar errors.. Wronger(more wrong) and Forfill(fulfil?) but great first post hope to read more

Krysti

BloodFairy18
Junior Member

since 2008-02-22

Posts 12
Canada

8 posted 2008-02-23 02:59 PM

ya i relised wronger wasnt proper grammer but i didnt think it really mattered lol , and but thanks for letting me know :P

Dark Star
Member

since 2008-02-20

Posts 392
Lost in your eyes

9 posted 2008-02-23 03:18 PM

welcome
xoxoxox-star

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

10 posted 2008-02-24 10:10 AM

WELCOME TO PIP!

ARCTIC WIND

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