Through the night skies and to the moon

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Teen Poetry #8

Through the night skies and to the moon

I am the arch angel
Member

since 2008-02-02

Posts 167
nowhere,illinois,USA

0 posted 2008-02-04 10:05 PM

The sky has darkened, I'm struck with fear
I see you walking with a peer

As I walk through the rain
Can you feel my pain?

The lighting has stuck me with a fright
I swear the devil is laughing with delight

With much fear in your eyes
I dare change into this disguise

With hell at your feet
If you give in, it is defeat

The knife of the sky has stabbed me in the heart
It pierces through my body just like a dart

Although my death clock strikes at noon
I shall carry on through the night skies and to the moon.....

~-Keagan-~

[This message has been edited by I am the arch angel (02-05-2008 04:40 PM).]

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2008-02-04 10:08 PM

I realy like the last 2 lines. Some parts of the poem are just a little confusing but who knows, maybe I just read it too fast. Good job and keep posting!

FoReVeR.BrOkEn

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

2 posted 2008-02-04 10:19 PM

like i said before interesting. i dont understand what kind of message are you trying to say?

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2008-02-05 12:09 PM

hmmm.... I'm kinda confused as well. I've read it several times and some parts still don't make sense.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

4 posted 2008-02-05 02:01 AM

Keagan I loved this poem something bout it ammmazzing....
Welcome to Passions Hope to read more soon,.
Krysti

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

5 posted 2008-02-05 05:43 PM

hey keagan now it makes alot more sense now. I like it alot! keep on writing poetry your starting to get pretty good at it. greatjob! well i guess i've said enough so im gunna go lol bye!

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

6 posted 2008-02-05 06:34 PM

I agree, the changes made a huge difference. it helped to smooth the rhyme and rhythm and overall flow.

I am the arch angel
Member

since 2008-02-02

Posts 167
nowhere,illinois,USA

7 posted 2008-02-05 07:30 PM

thanks guyss means alot

~-Keagan-~

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