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Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

0 posted 2008-02-01 04:20 PM

So I Can Answer Yes!

Ask me if I want you and I will answer no
For the promise flares
Within my mind I made so long ago
That I would not afflict my mind with ooh’s and aah’s and stares

So now I cannot love you
Beyond what’s given now
Know my understanding and feel my words as true
I promise I will love as soon as love allows

For I have made my pledge
To keep my heart of flesh not stone
Around my mind I’ve placed a hedge
My passions held no longer blown

The love I need is love indeed
In my eyes as in yours light has come to me
Now each day I fight my passion in a seed
As I feel a love and light as a mighty tree

Ask me if I love you and I will answer yes!
The light within I’ve seen so fine
To grow, to brighten and to flourish
In your eye’s I have seen the brightening of mine

Please ask me if I love you… so I can answer yes!

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2008-02-01 05:08 PM

wow. I found that very literal. The third stanza really stuck out too. I can almost understand every single feeling you may have felt while writing this, which I believe is pretty much impossible. To relate to everything in the same way as the poet him/herself. Thank you for that, it also made me think.

FoReVeR.BrOkEn

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

2 posted 2008-02-01 05:35 PM

awww, i was so sad when i frist started reading this, i thought i was going to have to go read some more happy poem, but it had such a sweet ending, you kinda lost me in your transition for not loveing to loveing, but that may just be my tired brain. lol. *sarcastically in a teasing sorta way* (i didn't hurt your feelings did i?) lol.

-Kate

and in the daylight i miss the nightmare- but deathly fear it in the dark of night

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

3 posted 2008-02-01 10:07 PM

Very nice. Your words captured my attention and kept it intill the poem was done. and i know how you feel when u were writing this. but over-all very good

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

4 posted 2008-02-02 04:01 PM

ahh Frank I love your critiques message it makes me laff everytime i see it:P:P I absolutly looove this poem

great write
Krysti

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

5 posted 2008-02-02 09:24 PM

Man, thank you guys! Glad you enjoyed it!
(mumbles to self) I'm not realy that good at getting emotion across am I? Oh well.
Kate: The difference is lust and love. I have made a promise to myself not to lust after anyone because I know what it does to me. However I still feel a purer love towards somone and am struggling to keep it no more than that. Why? Because "The love I need is love indeed" I already have somthing better so "I will love you as soon as love allows". Hope that helps.
-Frank

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

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