Just another poem... - pipTalk Forums

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rebel~angel
Member

since 2006-06-20

Posts 71
Iowa USA

0 posted 2006-10-04 10:56 PM

~Any ideas for a title?~

She looks at him
and he looks at her
and by the look in his eye,
she knows.
She knows its all over,
not even begun
it was too much to ask
of one who only can run
can't even hide
she can't take it back
or make him forget
she wants him to know
wants him to regret
It might not be much
but it'll haunt him forever
she said I love you--
he said whatever.

Remember:Tuck your chin, you're going to get hurt, so expect it and be ready. You might as well see it coming.
-Elizabeth Haydon, Requiem for the Sun

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-10-05 10:21 AM

"It might not be much
but it'll haunt him forever
she said I love you--
he said whatever."

Wow... This poem was amazing! I loved the whole poem. There is nothing in this one that I would change.

As for a title, maybe something like "run" but I'm not very good at titles...

Thanks for sharing!

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->---

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

2 posted 2006-10-05 11:27 AM

talent shows in the piece and reflects on the authors thoughts, very nice.
~Tempest~

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2006-10-08 01:09 AM

this was a beautiful write good poem hope to read more poems from you soon...
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

4 posted 2006-10-16 08:17 PM

AMAZING WRITE!!!!
as for a title what about

"And He Said Whatever" ?

pip_man
Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 70
Canada

5 posted 2006-10-16 08:54 PM

I really liked this poem, I can relate. I agree with the title for the poem^. Hope to see more. Great write!

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
Jimi Hendrix

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

6 posted 2006-10-17 12:14 PM

How about Whatever being the title. I love the ending, when I first read it I thought it needs work but now no . Its really good, and everyone can probaly relate.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

7 posted 2006-10-17 05:30 PM

Rereading this is soo good. My best friend writes too, can I email this to her and show it to her? I will tell her that a friend of mine wrote it. I swear. She really likes reading poetry. I send her mine. I would send her this link but she won't go to it. If I email her she will read it, cause she always reads the emails i send her. Please. THis is the best I have read by you. It just hit me. I can relate right now so much.

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