If I Bought You An Ocean - pipTalk Forums

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Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

0 posted 2008-01-23 06:06 AM

standing in the shadows
in the distance up ahead
lost inside the memories
and every word that you said

what is it with you
why must you tear me down
why have you sunk so low
and chose not to make a sound

now if i bought you an ocean
you would let me drown in the tide
maybe it will turn crimson
with all the hate i have inside

kissmexbaby6605
New Member

since 2008-01-23

Posts 8
Georgia

1 posted 2008-01-23 06:57 AM

i really like how it flows & i love your last couple lines

Heaven'sLilAngel
New Member

since 2008-01-23

Posts 6
Australia

2 posted 2008-01-23 06:57 AM

Love it.. it's raw and the depth seeps off the page in streams. Jess said u were talented she wasn't wrong..
Cheers.
J

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2008-01-23 01:51 PM

great poem I loved it....
Krysti

Jaki H
Member

since 2008-01-19

Posts 232
NJ, USA

4 posted 2008-01-23 06:20 PM

oh wow... this is really good! you can really feel the emotion! I love the part about the ocean turning crimson. great idea!

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

5 posted 2008-01-23 09:12 PM

you never cease to amaze me orange- never.

-Kate

and in the daylight i miss the nightmare- but deathly fear it in the dark of night

fromme2U
Member

since 2007-11-09

Posts 257

6 posted 2008-01-25 01:51 PM

Absolutely amazing! have you ever thought of publishing your work?

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

7 posted 2008-01-25 03:02 PM

Is there nothing this guy can't do with words?
I am in awe Clockwork_Orange!

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

8 posted 2008-01-25 07:26 PM

I love it as much as i love you.. and there is nothing this guy can't do earl.. He makes a dreary day beautiful just by smiling..

and this will fit here..
"Every little thing that you do, baby i'm amazed by you"

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

9 posted 2008-01-25 07:59 PM

Thanks guys. i like this one alot also. its a song that im gonna record pretty soon.

ShawtySheFly
Member

since 2007-12-19

Posts 71
In his Elevator (LOL)

10 posted 2008-01-28 04:14 PM

Great poem! short n intense feelings are depth n the flow is ridiculous good job

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