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shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows

0 posted 2008-01-21 07:55 AM


Everything’s coming in echoes
Sounds, faces and fears
The whole world’s caving in,
On a girl surrounded by peers

She’s running now,
Stumbling with every stride
Falling, hurting, crashing
As she desperately tries to hide

Voices are screaming,
Shadow’s are growing
Everything’s closing in,
On a girl surrounded by peers

Please, somebody help me…

[&] she's a blood broken rose

© Copyright 2008 Tori - All Rights Reserved
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
1 posted 2008-01-21 03:23 PM


Wow great poem.. Welcome to Passions, if you ever need to talk feel free to email me anytime.. always here...
Best Wishes
Krysti

Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
2 posted 2008-01-22 12:03 PM



Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
3 posted 2008-01-22 12:06 PM


I think I may know what your talking about here. Your poem is exelent. Good job with the expression. It's hard to write such personal stuff down, I know I've tried. (usualy I end up twisting words so much it's impossible to decipher anyway!)
Thanks you've given me somthing to think about.

Yay!!! um...he he

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
4 posted 2008-01-22 06:38 PM


TORI!! hhahaah! hi...i like that one!! ...k bye.
Em


shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows
5 posted 2008-01-22 06:55 PM


Thanx XxForever.BrokenxX, but it's not exactly a laughing matter.  Thanx for the comment anyhow.
Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
6 posted 2008-01-22 10:02 PM


Yeah... um XxForever.BrokenxX what is funny exactly? The only emotions I can see in this poem are confution and sorrow. Like shattered-smiles said it's not a laughing matter.




"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows
7 posted 2008-01-23 06:38 PM


Thanx Earl Robertson for also voicing my thoughts.  The poems I write are most of the time not a laughing matter.  Do you know what I mean when I say that many people can sometimes not understand a poem that someone has written, but the poet itself knows every word by heart?  It is a poem of confusion and sorrow.  Of pain.  Or being lost and not knowing where to go.  Thanx again Earl.

[&] she's a blood broken rose

Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
8 posted 2008-01-25 03:45 PM


Yes shattered-smiles I know exactly what your talking about. When I write poetry I write it to express part of myself or a view I have of the world. Somtimes somone will give me an insight into myself that I didn't have before, that fits with who I am but that I didn't see till somone saw it in my poems.
I feel bad for you if none of your poems have any humor but I can understand because I've been there to.

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows
9 posted 2008-01-25 05:14 PM


I don't think I've ever written a poem that was supposed to be funny.  I don't know why.  I've tried to, but for some reason I just can't.  You know what I mean?  So, I kinda gave up on the funny ones and went into more serious stuff.  I like more serious stuff better than funny anyway.  It's just who I am.
TJ

[&] she's a blood broken rose

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
10 posted 2008-01-27 09:14 PM


I'm sorry if i offended u, but i wasn't laughing at the poem, i was just laughing...i don't know why exacally. No I do not think it's funny, i just...never mind. sorry

FoReVeR.BrOkEn

Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
11 posted 2008-01-27 10:38 PM


Again we're agreed shattered-smiles,I find sirous poems easier to write to. Poetry brings out my more contemplative nature, you know what I mean? Not a particularly sad me but a calm, complicated, and objective self. Usually.Would I be wrong in saying it's somthing like that for you to? Because what I was worried about before is what it would mean if all your poems were as sad as this one.  

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows
12 posted 2008-01-28 08:20 AM


Well my poems are usually as sad as this one.  Every single one of my pieces of poetry resembles my life.  I pour out my heart in my poetry and it helps me get through life.  If it wasn't for my poetry, I porbably wouldn't be here right now.  That's how bad my life is.  I mean, I've got some friends to help me along, but poetry is and always has been my outlet.
TJ

[&] she's a blood broken rose

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