Teen Poetry #8 |
I cant change |
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
Stains on my hands what have i done thiese were all good intentions when i begun but then something changed along the way now theres too many mistakes i live with day by day and now i hear them in a crowd yelling every word of my life out loud every thought every voice every sound every choice its all here and i cant change This is the only life you have, so live it to be remembered |
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© Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved | |||
nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
Hmm, I really like this one. Reminds me of the old saying, 'The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.'Great job. |
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Brittany Junior Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 32Canada |
I like this, it was different. I could feel the emotion in it, I really liked it, good job! ~Life Ain't Always Beautiful~ |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
YAY!!!! you're back i missed reading your poems sooooooo much! Now y'all better thank me for this cuz i told Tempest that if he didn't come back to Teen Poetry that we were gonna come to his house with underwear on our heads and lipstick on our cheeks and embarass him ha-ha just kidding... but now he knows what i'll do if he stops posting here ha-ha.... Anywho, Tempest i loved your poem i dunno after not reading them for so long them seem really, well missed hope to read more soon... hunnie* A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"Stains on my hands what have i done thiese were all good intentions when i begun" Now the tempest I have read is back! This poem reminds me of your others, in the style, the force behind the words. I found this poem to be a very enjoyable read. I can relate in many ways to the stanza above^^... "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
Stains on my hands what have i done thiese were all good intentions when i begun Only thing I'd change about this whole poem is that last line. The tense threw me off, shouldn't it have been "began"? I know you were trying to rhyme with done, but to me that's the only part that threw me off. Other than that, very amazing write. AIM-beatufu1tragidy |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
i wrote this piece after many long times of depretion.(diagnosed, you know the real kind) after much thought and alot of debate with my self i decided to post this piece. i just thought i should tell you the story behind the piece. ~Tempest~ |
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