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Teen Poetry #8
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love born from hate
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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love born from hate |
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wolf girl Member
since 2007-12-03
Posts 150washington, US |
i dont think this one is any good i think it needs alot of work. be as brutle as required. once i loved you i was happy if you called me boo i was ready to run away just to be with you then things changed suddenly you were the reason for my pain who am i to blame? its not your fault you dont love me too i choose to tell you my deepest secret i vowed to never tell no one you called me a liar i came undone what was love turned to hate you called me asking how can i hate some i love i said its simple you made me come undone you broke the remaining peices of my heart then some how you made me laugh once again you made the pain vanish without a trace then i loved you again i learned that love can be born from hate the burning fire of your hate can fuel the inituition to love |
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| © Copyright 2007 Jenna - All Rights Reserved | |||
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xbrokenxlullabyx Junior Member
since 2007-12-25
Posts 36NJ, U.S.A. |
I don't like the end, I feel you are telling us the message of the poem too much. let me find my own meaning, you know? I like the lines about coming undone Susanna V. |
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LittleWillow Member
since 2007-12-27
Posts 54 |
I like the beginning of the poem. But i think the end spoils it abit. I think the beginning should flow into the ending. Its sounds abit rushed. Take your time to express her feelings when she feels she loves him again. Because the end of it doesn't flow and it can become quite confusing. But the beginning is great =]] xxxx |
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