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Teen Poetry #8
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My Secret
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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My Secret |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
k the format to this is horrible so yea sry for that...i wrote this for a friend or two last year so yea...n e ways just read it What to do What to say People can’t know Not next week, tomorrow or today No one would understand No one would hear If they knew they’d shun me I fear I’m frightful who I tell Careful of whom I trust I hide my feelings Because keeping this secret is a must How did I come to find A secret like this A secret like mine Where to go And how to live Should I come into the light Or stay in darkness I’m part of a minority That people think isn’t right They vote on it As if we’re blind We can hear And we can see We ain’t stupid It’s not a disease It hurts to just be discussed I mean were still people We don’t mean to make such a fuss We just wanna love who we do Even though they might be the same as me or you The Bible says that it’s a sin And I know that it is But murders are accepted Why not this? I’ve thought about changing But I don’t know that I can I’m not sure that I want to Even though I have no friends This crime causes so much hurt and pain But yet I enjoy it Does that make me insane? I’m torn between two choices Surrounded by confusion Either way leaves me with no future If I choose the right path I’ll miss my old ways I’ll be broken and torn For the rest of my days But if I stay the way I am I’ll still cry at night Wondering if God Will accept me in his sight I’m grateful for those that love me For all their time and help They’ve cried with me My pain they’ve felt Thanks to them I know my way I know my path Its doesn’t hurt as much I’ve made my decision at long last A bit of love has touched my life Now I don’t have to live in strife With God ill never be the same My happiness ill now reclaim january 2006 If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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| © Copyright 2007 leah nelson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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justanotherstorm Member
since 2007-10-24
Posts 321 |
wow this sounds so familiar well yeah its tight |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
leaves me wondering which path you did indeed choose.. hmm.. it was really good, i so enjoyed it! but im hanging haha, which is actually good, poems that make you think are wonderful. |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
stomry: it should...u have a copy... buttercup: thanx! and ummm it was supposed to kinda seem like..since the person choose god or w/e that they chose the straight path...so yea idk i guess it wasnt clear...my neither was my friends choice so i guess it works  If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
VERY MUCH ENJOYED ARCTIC WIND |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
hahahah thanx artic If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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SiR3N Junior Member
since 2007-03-07
Posts 16Pennsylvania |
Interesting poem. I would have enjoyed it more if you didnt bring light back into at the end ^^ You also had some awesome rhymes. Tip: Make the meter more even, for a smoother sound |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
siren dude: thanx! ...um wut do u mean tho by the meter? If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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justanotherstorm Member
since 2007-10-24
Posts 321 |
whend i get a copy |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
8th grade mrs' crosses homeroom january 26 If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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SiR3N Junior Member
since 2007-03-07
Posts 16Pennsylvania |
Meter is like the beat per line. A.K.A the amount of syllables you have in each line. Your meter goes from like 3-10+ Its not necessary, but to make it sound smoother, its best to keep the meter at a constant length |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
ahhhh i getch u. thank ya ! If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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hardcorexflirt Junior Member
since 2007-12-22
Posts 12WI, USA |
i loved it... your so good. |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
thank u! and welcome to piptalk! If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!  ARCTIC WIND |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
thanx artic! u to! If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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xbrokenxlullabyx Junior Member
since 2007-12-25
Posts 36NJ, U.S.A. |
this is really strong, I love it!!! I like the use of rhymes but in a way so it wasn't over done or dr. suess like (oh no, i spelled dr. suess wrong didn't I? I apologize in advance for spelling my comments wrong) all in all, it was great |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
hahah its no prob lullaby! thank you ! and welcome to piptalk! and merry christmas !!!! If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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LittleWillow Member
since 2007-12-27
Posts 54 |
Wowies. It's great. You've done a rather good job on that! Leaves you wondering, but there aint nothing wrong with that =] Well Done. xxx |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
hey thanks little willow! welcome to piptalk!!!!! If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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