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wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

0 posted 2007-12-19 06:04 AM

you see it all the time
just watch the news
but this time its different
its really hit home
someone i care for
someone i love
with your bad decision
her life is in flames
I don't know why
I don't really care
all that I know is I wish you where here
I wish you could see the pain that you cause
the tears on my shoulder
the fear in her eyes
as i comfort and council my thoughts turn to rage
of kicking and punching to your life I lay claim
what can I say to this girl in my arms
how do you help someone violated in this way
all I can promise is to always be there
to help and to hold her and fight all her fears
all I can say to the man that hurt my friend
there is no where you can hide
there is no where you can run

something thats stupid but works isn't stupid

fromme2U
Member

since 2007-11-09

Posts 257

1 posted 2007-12-20 03:23 PM

Nice write.

xbrokenxlullabyx
Junior Member

since 2007-12-25

Posts 36
NJ, U.S.A.

2 posted 2007-12-25 10:40 PM

I really like this, except maybe you could switch the last two lines? I think its stronger to end with hide instead of run, it flows nicely as well.

fromme2U
Member

since 2007-11-09

Posts 257

3 posted 2008-01-02 11:55 AM

I Included you in one of my poems.

Talyn
Junior Member

since 2008-03-09

Posts 47
North Carolina, USA

4 posted 2008-03-10 12:34 PM

Wow very nice! Lots of feelings within it. You must be a very good friend.

Talyn.

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

5 posted 2008-03-10 05:37 PM

aw thanks talyn

Belinda
Member

since 2006-01-30

Posts 126
UK

6 posted 2008-04-19 07:14 PM

just wow,
this was amazing.

look forward to reading more.

Belinda~*

Expect nothing, Prepare for anything.

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

7 posted 2008-04-20 04:30 PM

hey thanks Belinda I'd actually forgotten I'd posted this one

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

8 posted 2008-04-20 05:45 PM

Wow lots of emotion.

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

9 posted 2008-04-20 06:10 PM

great poem

JJ

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

10 posted 2008-04-20 06:55 PM

thanks Earl and JJ

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

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