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Teen Poetry #8
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wisdomofthesword
Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224
the last place on earth

0 posted 2007-12-19 06:04 AM


you see it all the time
just watch the news
but this time its different
its really hit home
someone i care for
someone i love
with your bad decision
her life is in flames
I don't know why
I don't really care
all that I know is I wish you where here
I wish you could see the pain that you cause
the tears on my shoulder
the fear in her eyes
as i comfort and council my thoughts turn to rage
of kicking and punching to your life I lay claim
what can I say to this girl in my arms
how do you help someone violated in this way
all I can promise is to always be there
to help and to hold her and fight all her fears
all I can say to the man that hurt my friend
there is no where you can hide
there is no where you can run

something thats stupid but works isn't stupid

© Copyright 2007 Liberty - All Rights Reserved
fromme2U
Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257

1 posted 2007-12-20 03:23 PM


Nice write.
xbrokenxlullabyx
Junior Member
since 2007-12-25
Posts 36
NJ, U.S.A.
2 posted 2007-12-25 10:40 PM


I really like this, except maybe you could switch the last two lines? I think its stronger to end with hide instead of run, it flows nicely as well.
fromme2U
Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257

3 posted 2008-01-02 11:55 AM


I Included you in one of my poems.
Talyn
Junior Member
since 2008-03-09
Posts 47
North Carolina, USA
4 posted 2008-03-10 12:34 PM


Wow very nice! Lots of feelings within it. You must be a very good friend.
Talyn.

wisdomofthesword
Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224
the last place on earth
5 posted 2008-03-10 05:37 PM


aw thanks talyn
Belinda
Member
since 2006-01-30
Posts 126
UK
6 posted 2008-04-19 07:14 PM


just wow,
this was amazing.

look forward to reading more.

Belinda~*

Expect nothing, Prepare for anything.

wisdomofthesword
Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224
the last place on earth
7 posted 2008-04-20 04:30 PM


hey thanks Belinda I'd actually forgotten I'd posted this one

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
8 posted 2008-04-20 05:45 PM


Wow lots of emotion.

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish
9 posted 2008-04-20 06:10 PM


great poem

JJ

wisdomofthesword
Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224
the last place on earth
10 posted 2008-04-20 06:55 PM


thanks Earl and JJ

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

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