Teen Poetry #8 |
Forever Hidden (1st Post) |
prettypinkrebel Member
since 2007-11-07
Posts 104 |
I'm falling faster and harder, as i begin to slip You slowly take me into you grip As you hold me tight and say i love you sis I think to myself i wish the word sis didnt exsist I dont know how to tell you how i feel but i dont know if i can continue to keep this act real the act of me not careing for you the way i do and im only wanting you to be happy that's true but still i wish you knew, I love you knowing that you hold me tight and make the outer world dispear gives me chills makes me fear I dont want to keep hiding this feeling i feel But i dont know how to tell you while you are with her, the one i call my best friend and sister My friend means the world to be but no matter what i do it seems i am more quickly tripped and falling harder for you you cant help the way you feel; and i dont know what to do should i continue to cower and keep you by my side or tell you and lose you all together, slowly quietly dying inside you mean the world to me yet you have not a clue I now know what i must do Continue the way that it is now, only wishing you knew for every lasting moment i spend with you, even if it's as a sis means more to me then losing you. so forever this is what i shall do.. pledge my hidden love to you. only wishing that you knew.. I secretly do really love you! Life is normally a broken road....so look ahead for the cracks! |
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justanotherstorm Member
since 2007-10-24
Posts 321 |
ok first i thought u were talkin about your brother cuz it said sis but yeah its just the guy u like i think people should show their true feelings for each other whether its your brother sister friend father or mother so yeah great poem it shows your pain just release it |
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prettypinkrebel Member
since 2007-11-07
Posts 104 |
thanks...just another storm && sorry for the confusion any suggestions? |
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justanotherstorm Member
since 2007-10-24
Posts 321 |
oh its cool but i think its cool the way it is im kind of in writers block right now so i wouldnt know how to fix it but i think its tight the way it is |
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prettypinkrebel Member
since 2007-11-07
Posts 104 |
k thanks. for the help....! Life is normally a broken road....so look ahead for the cracks! |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
nice first post Welcome to Passions. I thought your poem really showed strong emotion and that is always good to have in a poem Krysti |
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prettypinkrebel Member
since 2007-11-07
Posts 104 |
Thanks Krysti...i just wrote was i was feeling :[ Life is normally a broken road....so look ahead for the cracks! |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
hey it's a good first poem but i too had the confussion all through the poem thinking it was your brother you were talking about until i read one of the poems so maybe if you changed the wording of sis around a bit to maybe sisterly feelings or something just to stop the confussion |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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