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Teen Poetry #8

weak

justanotherstorm
Member

since 2007-10-24

Posts 321

0 posted 2007-10-25 11:59 PM

I've been waiting for you
I know that you weren't gone for long
But it seemed like a lifetime till I saw you again
I felt weak cuz you weren't there by my side
I'm stronger when I'm with you
I missed you but now that you're here with me
I don't want to let you go
I just want to say that...
I felt depressed when you were gone
I cried at night cuz you were so far away
Now that you're here
I feel safe

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-10-26 01:23 AM

wow I have felt this was so many times.. I liked this poem good write
Krysti

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

2 posted 2007-10-26 08:01 AM

i know exactly how this feels..hmm..
the flow was a bit rocky but over all it was perrty good..props
¢¾jess

justanotherstorm
Member

since 2007-10-24

Posts 321

3 posted 2007-10-26 09:23 AM

thanx for the comments i wrote this like a while ago

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

4 posted 2007-10-26 01:17 PM

This poem is haunting, very beautiful and ... Wow!

I disagree with Jessica though (latteaddict), I didn't find the flow to be rocky. If you imagined grammar/commas in the right spots and paused when supposed to it sounds great, IMO.

Thanks for sharing!

~Stargal

"The rising morning can't insure that we shall end the day; For death stands ready at the door to snatch our lives away"
@-->---

justanotherstorm
Member

since 2007-10-24

Posts 321

5 posted 2007-10-26 06:59 PM

hmm thanx for the comments its a song tho well yeah thanx again

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