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Teen Poetry #8
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He says
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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He says |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
He says He says he loves me “I’m serious” says he “I know” I say He says he loves me He says he loves me I believe, no questions asked I wonder what I will do But He says he loves me He says he loves me Time has made our edges Wear each other thin As he says he love me He says he loves me And I count the sands That slip through the crack in time When he said he loved me He says he loves me And his other words are true For everything he does He loves me "I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow |
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| © Copyright 2007 RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Kate you hold on to that guy and when you feel like your losing him hold on tighter  he's a keeper.Krysti |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
oh wow it was such a heart felt poem i loved it |
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Angel101¢¾! Junior Member
since 2007-10-21
Posts 48Lost in pain |
ok poem could b bettr |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
The emotion in this poem is evident. It is strong and I like that. But excuse me for saying this, but your rhythm is kind of flat. If you find a way to combine the two, your poem would be awesome. The more you know, the more you know you don't know. -Socrates |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
oh, well, you all see, i know it's not my best, it's on the bottom of my rung, but it was the idea that i just had to get out, the knowlegde that yes, he loves me. so i know my poem is bad. i realise why, but thanks for all the constructive critisim. -Kate "I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Kate, I apologize if my reply was too harsh. My intentions were only to help you improve your poem, and I am sorry if I offended you. The more you know, the more you know you don't know. -Socrates |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
Oh, no, you weren't too harsh. I realise what kind of poem it is it is really flat. besides, I did come here after all to get some constructive critisim. -KAte "I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow |
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