Teen Poetry #8 |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
Cold pizza in the fridge Mice run across the floor Run, screaming, down the stairs And I can’t take it anymore The sun won’t shine Rain starts to pour Try to hitch-hike to paradise But I can’t take it anymore Running down the street Chasing down my fears I’ll outrun my destiny Screaming to the beat Wiping all my tears I’ll protect the rest of me So you can’t break my heart Again Hollow words from your mouth The devil at the door Put my headphones on Cause I can’t take it anymore Clouds over my head Such a pity they're a bore Don’t care to shape them When I can’t take it anymore Running down the street Chasing down my fears I’ll outrun my destiny Screaming to the beat Wiping all my tears I’ll protect the rest of me So you can’t break my heart Again |
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© Copyright 2006 Haley May - All Rights Reserved | |||
rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
This was really good, I liked it. Full of emotion, the title didn't seem to relevant, but thats ok, I can't take it anymore ' seemed more appropiate. anyway, very nice, full of emotion. You ok? u havent been on pip for awhile and now ur back with lots of fire in ur poems. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Hey, don't think you read my poem Assassain, It cant be in Teen poetry, according to the mods it has violence. it is up in Critical Analys though, so could u read it there ,and if you post , it needs constructive critticsm or Moonbeam, Not a poet, Essorant, Divine Chaos, and such will get really annoyed, so I would like you to read it, could you , and if u are gonna post to it, if u post there, Constructive Crittiscm !!!!!!, or post in one of the teen threads as a side comment or in this thread. |
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hunnie_girl![]() ![]()
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
i liked this a lot i missed you poems to good to see you back... hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
This was really good! I enjoyed it very much and hope you continue to write!! |
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Brittany Junior Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 32Canada |
I liked it, it was really full of emotion and i really felt what you meant. i cant think of anything id change to make it any better. |
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