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Teen Poetry #8
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A Soldiers Goodbye
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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A Soldiers Goodbye |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia 
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Are you happy now I’ve fallen from grace? Battered and bruised, my best mates blood on my face I take 40 forty more steps and fall to the floor He lays lifeless in my hands, he can’t breathe anymore Just fourteen months earlier he said his goodbyes We left in my car; we fell for the government’s lies I’ll look after him I promise, I swore to his wife Kim. We were best mates and I’d die for him. We arrived in Iraq and it wasn’t what we thought Men and women were trapped and then caught If they couldn’t provide information they were disposed of well They were either shot and buried or locked in a cell. The nights were tough and it was hard to sleep It was those blood curdling screams that made me weep Christmas came, not a word from home Maybe was best that way, not letting my mind roam It was just another gun fight he wasn’t supposed to die There millions of soldiers, god why him, why? I picked him straight up and ran for the base I couldn’t stand to look at him, as tears streamed from my face He was just another solider who knew all to well That coming to Iraq would leave tales to tell The commander didn’t care neither did the nurse It wasn’t their fault he’d been struck by the curse The curse of death that flew past at least 10 times a day The curse that left me speechless, not knowing what to say He was a soldier at war, a father at heart, and the man that kept me sain. Today my best mate died but he’s legacy shall still remain To those who know so very well that everyone falls from grace To those who show no mercy when one has tears rolling down his face. To those who stand alone tonight and look out upon the stars To those who will spend the rest of their lives living behind bars To those who will no longer become victims of this deadly war To those who stand alone while i sit and write some more It’s our legacy to die, but our job to live well It’s a sin to commit a crime and not be trapped in a cell Take a little pride tonight, and stand up tall Remember those who have fallen, and pray for those yet to fall |
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| © Copyright 2007 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
I'm really not sure about this.. I mean i wrote it and it means alot to me but i don't know if it all fits together without making ppl confused.. Thanx to Clockwork Orange for inspiring me with this poem.. BTW its taken like months to write.. Enjoy... Luv 2 all... ♥Revenge♥ |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
wow Jess this is really good worth waiting a month to read.. glad you wrote it it is really sad.. Krysti |
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[StepheN~] Junior Member
since 2007-04-19
Posts 15 |
you know what... this might be one of my favorite of all... I dont know about everyone else in this country... but i know that i respect the men that go anywhere to fight for our country. Especially me being a man and not fighting by their side. Im not an amry man, but its something i've always told myself if i was called i'd go in a heartbeat. I hate war and i hate that the powers above us are the reason so many of us die. We dont get to make any decisions if you really think about it. Its our government who starts a fire that they cant put out. So for your friend to die in your arms is no ones fault but the government- in my opinion. Everyone needs to wake up ... Get out of your own minds and take a breath of what the men across sea's are breathing... Crying, Explosions, Families being torn apart, countless lives lost, "FRIENDS dying in your arms"... WAKE UP !!! do you even begin to know what it feels like? cause i dont... i can only imagine.. and my imagination cant possibly put a finger even close to what the real situation must be in Iraq. Its just like any war, its the bullshit all human kind has come to face.. Its a learned behavior in a sense, ... WAR ... So lets stop it... i think im gonna write my own reflection to this...check it out sometime soon. |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
I LOVE THIS POEM! and i must say ...you add a little more glam to this piece than my works. i really am facinated with soldiers and such and they are a centerpiece to many of my writings, as you well know...and i must say this is better than all of them. |
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BrittanyJ Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461Come find me? |
Wow, i loved this. I have a few friends who recently left for Iraq, and this def does them justice. And it was more than worth the time you put behind it  So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart. |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Thanx heaps guys.. i didn't think this would be that well liked.. I admire all soldiers who die to defend there country i know american troops well out number our australian troops but they all deserve our prayers. CO i luv all you work and you always inspire me.. i dont know how anyone could not be blown away by your stuff i mean u make me cry all the time just by reading ur work.. THANX to everyone for taking the time to read this piece. |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
this was a beautiful poem and just amazingly done it is definitely one for the books and i hope everyone gets a chance to read it |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
This was really good, I especially liked the last part, and those yet to fall. Beautifully written |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
BUMP For My Comments... |
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