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tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2007-08-02 11:33 PM

The memories of yesterday mix
With the trials of this pain,
The tears don’t wash away a thing;
They only burn like acid rain.

How do I learn to move on,
When being me wasn’t enough for you?
You didn’t want me, made your choice,
Which has haunted me through and through.

It’s not just the way you said my name,
But the way your voice soothed my mind,
Even in times of searing pain
Your voice was the best medicine I could find.

I can’t let happiness overcome me, though,
When you decide I am worth your time,
Cause it’ll only be followed by disappointment and heartache,
When I’m alone and weak and you’re at your prime.

I’ve grown numb to my wishes and dreams,
Learned not to expect anything anymore,
Cause the more you hope, the more you want,
And the disappointment burns to the core.

I have tried to start all over again,
But I always end up here,
With wild rages of tainted jealousy
Provoked only by my fear.

-Erin

I'm not sure about this one, what do you think guys?

AIM-beatufu1tragidy

Tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-08-03 02:40 AM

I think you are definately back into it. Flawless.. love the way it flowed and the words were great

hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

2 posted 2007-08-03 10:27 AM

This is amazing. The flow, the rhyming, oh my gosh, i loved the whole thing!! Perfect

Absolutly perfect.

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

3 posted 2007-08-03 12:40 PM

it was AMAZING

the only thing i actually could find that wasn't *perfect about this poem, was that the paragraph lengths didn't always coincide. i.e, the first an last paragraph were alot shorter than the paragraphs throughout the middle of the poem. But that really doesn't matter, does it?

it was truly an amazing write :]

~missy
afraid of my feelings and falling too deep, but i had to let go of the pain let it rain down on me

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