Teen Poetry #8 |
Life |
wwzwlmd8 Member
since 2006-09-23
Posts 96San Diego,CA |
Life is given life is special, life is a joy and life is great. Life is the one thing that show's your sprit, and life is your's and only your's know one can take it away. People say thing's just let it pass it's your life and live it while you can. [This message has been edited by wwzwlmd8 (09-24-2006 04:25 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2006 Indya - All Rights Reserved | |||
icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Ownership of the self is an important idea. This piece needs serious work on grammar,spelling and poetic format. Welcome to PiP! |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Welcome to Passions! Please see your post in the lounge. Looks like you have some deep thoughts lurking in you. I'm eager to hear them. Glad you are here. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS i think you should extend it and add a format and fix some grammar too. but it had a good thought to build on... hope to read more from you... hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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wwzwlmd8 Member
since 2006-09-23
Posts 96San Diego,CA |
Sorry for my bad grammr and spelling I was going to fast. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions! I see that Larry C has taken you under his wing, and he is a very good mentor You're received some very thoughtful ideas from others, so just slow down. No need to rush. Actually, if you are posting straight to the board, it might be a good idea to use a program like Word, for a couple of reasons. First, keeping your poetry archived on your own hard drive is a pretty good idea. There have been times that people are posting directly to the board and if there's a blip, all of their hard work is lost, if the posting hasn't been completed by submitting same. Secondly, working on your poetry as Larry and icebox mentioned, gives you time to format it, spell check it, etc. Cutting and pasting is then pretty simple. Presentation can be a very big part of poetry. It all becomes part of the package and also gives the reader a good sense of your pride in your own work. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact any Moderator. In the meantime, write on! " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Is there any way you could edit this poem for grammar, spelling,format, and make it easier to read? I could really tell what it was about because of the spelling and grammar mistakes. Sorry but do you mind doing that then reposting or editing your poem so everyone can understand it. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
wwzwlmd8, I know you checked that you don't wany any critiques on your work. So I hope you aren't offended by the suggestions that have been offered. We truly don't want you to stop writing. It is apparent that you have good things to write about. So, I'm looking forward to seeing some new posts that you have taken time with. At your age I would have lacked the courage to even try... Don't quit, pretty please. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I really like your ideas on life that you presented on this poem. I enjoyed it and hope you will keep writing and posting here! Once again, welcome to Pip! ~Alli~ |
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