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Alaina
Member

since 2007-06-16

Posts 106

0 posted 2007-07-06 10:37 PM

They’re all ignoring my eye,
Too scared to see what’s inside.
My mind is more than they’ve ever come by,
It makes them all want to run and hide.

I’ll never be surprised by this reaction,
Everyone’s scared to know they’re inferior.
Trying to ignore that strong attraction,
I know that I am now the one who’s superior.

But I didn’t think this was how it would turn out
I don’t want to be someone who is feared.
All I dreamed for was people to know what I’m all about,
Now I dream they’ll forget I ever appeared.

Surrounded by a sea of faces that all flow,
I’m like a wave that’s not meant to be there.
It’s getting worse as I seem to grow and grow,
Soon I’ll be gone and disappear into thin air.

I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why can't it be mine?
-Eddie Vedder

totyfroty
New Member

since 2007-07-06

Posts 6

1 posted 2007-07-07 06:04 AM

Alaian , that is so touching. your rhyme captures me and I really love the beginning it is really great

"I know that I am now the one who’s superior."
I love how you look at yourself and did not underestimate it. that is really excellent

Good luck

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

2 posted 2007-07-07 09:16 AM

"Surrounded by a sea of faces that all flow,
I’m like a wave that’s not meant to be there."

i think that you should leave it like that maybe make these two rhyme and leave off the other two sentences, but i loved this. these two lines just seemed to say it was the end.

-Red

If love were a picture that painting would never be finished.

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

3 posted 2007-07-07 10:44 AM

This is deff one of my favorite by you

It really flowed nicely, and showed the emotion. My favorite line:

"Surrounded by a sea of faces that all flow
I'm like a wave that's not meant to be there"

I loved it!! Keep writing

Please excuse me, my heart is bleeding.

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

4 posted 2007-07-09 11:04 AM

i agree. this is my favorite by you so far. even though its kinda hard to determine the best when i like them all.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

5 posted 2007-07-09 06:45 PM

ohhhh I like this one the ending was my favorite.
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

Jezzika
Member

since 2005-01-05

Posts 154
work

6 posted 2007-07-09 10:54 PM

This was really good..
I liked how well the whole thing flowed...

One trillion dollars could buy a heart a soul ~ Anti-Flag

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