Open Poetry #44 |
children of older cars |
Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
it was a funny kind of afternoon driveway you and I were both children in our minds in older cars not moving too fast but fast enough that crashing into each other would have bent places into always there afters I remember the sun on your windshild smile how your eyes were brand new chrome want to and your lips when they moved around words made me want to polish them with kiss cloths and then park them in my own no car garage you said I was a safe road for your wheels and you liked bumping into my curbs too just to know I had some boundries here and there and I would feel you often if you went too fast or even too slowly when I touched your curves we double parked for what could have been hours but we didn't go anywhere special except over familiar ground with our boots on just enjoying the warm speed limit sighs that aroused without arrows or yeilding except to the traffic of our hands during dreams ______________ daark (forbidden) |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Your "forbidden" is pure delight! You have such a unique, special way to convey emotions, that besides in your memories, they will also stay with the reader. To cherish. Love, Margherita |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms mar...thanks special lady!! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I have a two car garage. You know how I feel about your poetry. Well, each one I read just makes the feeling stronger. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms ali-san...but how many cars do you have in there now? thanks babe |
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Boshii2 Member
since 2009-02-01
Posts 146 |
I do love your poetry too. My chrome teeth smiled as I sat,once again, doubled parked up One Tree Hill,playing aircraft and hangers and making regretable dents in my thereafters. Boshii2 |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
boshii, thank you for the read and reflection from your hilltop |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
When I glance at the title, I always see -- children of older cats do you think I might need to be wearing my glasses? |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
you always get such good 'mileage' from you metaphors, and this one is no exception...loved this line: "made me want to polish them with kiss cloths" ...but all was good...again... |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms ali-san..glasses might be good, we can discuss other wardrobe options too..(grin) _______________ steavenr, thanks guy |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
you and I were both children in our minds in older cars not moving too fast but fast enough that crashing into each other would have bent places into always there afters Reading your work, I understand how important "a turn of phrase" really is... and applaud your expertise! *S* Superb! |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms suthern..thank you for turning the words up and looking under |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
I love this!! |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Dark Stranger, This has very clever lines that work well for me. Bobby |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
You come up with some of the best titles then follow them with a delight of metaphors etc. Love those unique perspectives. Eric |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Copper, thanks so much _____________ BJ, thanks amigo _________________ Eric, thanks guy, I appreciate your reviews |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I had something like this once but it was in the rain....maybe that's why I like the rain so much? ahhha I bet it's a nice part of why |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms suesea...the rain is my favorite place to spend time...perhaps it was the rain..thanks babe |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
enjoyed reading you |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
PS...thanks Dixie... ___________ ms Van..thanks lady |
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