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Open Poetry #44

My Success Song

chweetkavi
Junior Member

since 2009-02-05

Posts 15

0 posted 2009-02-16 02:59 AM

Mushy heart understands not
Has been distorted to ashen gray
Silted wounds grow as mound
Eroding life from my sea shore

Sprinkled salt makes me halt
Have to succumb some more
The path is long and I drift along
Fluttering and holding the anchor of life

Beacon I see towards which I flee
The storm enrages shaking my core
My gondola is lost, It is a thing of past
The beacon now glows inside my heart

I’ll light up my soul and emerge as a whole
Crusading till I lose the last of my breath
Through barriers I’ll wade, the gloom will fade
And the sea will chant my success song
Kavitha

16 feb 09

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2009-02-16 03:09 AM

Beautiful write!

And it has a great in-built tune!

Love,
Margherita

chweetkavi
Junior Member

since 2009-02-05

Posts 15

2 posted 2009-02-16 03:49 AM

Thanks Margherita

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2009-02-16 11:46 AM

"Through barriers I’ll wade, the gloom will fade
And the sea will chant my success song"
What a positive ending! Enjoyed.

Welcome to Passions.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

4 posted 2009-02-16 01:48 PM

Hi, there, Kavitha!

This was a beautifully penned poem of desperation to inspiration! I am quoting the lines that highlight the poem for me.

"The path is long and I drift along
Fluttering and holding the anchor of life"

"Beacon I see towards which I flee"

"I’ll light up my soul and emerge as a whole"

~ and a successful song, it be!

Giving you a warm, welcoming pip hug,

Earth Angel

chweetkavi
Junior Member

since 2009-02-05

Posts 15

5 posted 2009-02-16 11:33 PM

Thanks Earth Angel
for the read and comment

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