* Hello everyone,
I'm trying to write a Chant Royale. I have the rules but I seem to be missing some. Could someone who is knowledgable about this form review this second draft and give me some pointers. Pretty please
At birth genetic structures are assigned
there’s joy and sorrow in each tiny cell
the architecture of our span designed
by gods who voice a dark and sombre spell
although it’s not your fault you aren’t to blame
the consequences bind you just the same
you’re as a moth that’s gathered to the fire
for all your path of life seem grim and dire
it’s plain enough accept it, come what may
don’t you try, just do what you require
there’s nothing you can do and nothing say.

You grow and find your forces realigned
sometimes you make a heaven, sometimes hell
but nowhere in the contract that you’ve signed
are clauses giving comfort you could yell
you look to see what respite you may claim
to break away your vision and your aim
you seek a charm to take you from the mire
and search for something random to inspire
but ‘ere the piper comes you have to pay
you rail against your role and wish for higher
but nothing you can do, so nothing say.

Although the folk who stare are not unkind
you feel their glances, see their pity swell
and always at the forefront of your mind
are all the things you know but cannot tell
you wish that you were blind or you were lame
so you could have good reason for your shame
you ask all questions, religiously enquire
you risk the wrath of gods and all their ire
you wish that you had strength to fight this fray
perhaps ‘just once’ a chance to win  desire
but nothing can you do and nothing say

The problem of your birth is what you find
within the darkness, formless horrors dwell
you know you should be dead, at least resigned
a scarred soul has an odour you can smell
your chance of life had gone before it came
there’s nothing left to you except your name
the ground will shift and take you to the wire
while neurons fade and suddenly misfire
and all god’s creatures made up of this clay
revile you, although a sense of purpose you acquire
there’s nothing you can do and nothing say.

You memory of life in slow rewind
begs the question that will never gel
you cannot see the future, but behind
is a crooked path on which you fell
so everything within your fragile frame
is settled by genetics you proclaim
and tangled, broken are your strings, you tire
of this vampire drill in your attire
but how you’d love the chance to change the day
to take away the chromosome quagmire
Since nothing now can change, you nothing say.

The choice your mother made, life, soon became
the burden you would bear with your surname
although you curse your loving mum and sire
and wish for life or a funeral pyre
hidden imperfections wound your way
but every step of fighting mars desire
there’s nothing you can do and nothing say.

[This message has been edited by Kethry (02-13-2009 04:35 PM).]

suthern and Mark,
you are both absolutely right and I've made some changes. Hopefully it doesn't change the reading of it. Fancy forgetting all about the d rhyme. I could have made it easy on myself and added a c rhyme but I didn't discover that until I'd made changes.

Always do more than is required of you George Patton

Nan (Pilgrim variety)