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Open Poetry #44
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my soul sits in the corner
| Open Poetry #44 |
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my soul sits in the corner |
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timmybeades New Member
since 2009-02-11
Posts 2 |
this is my first poem on this site. not sure what else to say, here it is. My Soul is in the Corner I revisit an old thought and remind myself that it is just fine. My soul sits in the corner, he is staring at me. I tell him to have a drink, relax a bit. He tells me he can feel it, why can't he know it? I respond it’s probably just a phase, That it’ll be just fine, but he sees my lonely stare to the other corner of the room, And he knows, I’m spitting words I’ve heard a thousand times before, He knows that I am struggling. He tells me that it hurts so much, but it has no name. I tell him all things have names that are. I stare into his eyes, With my suicide serious look of severity, And his mourning eyes laugh, He says this is not true and stares at me. I look at him, trying to ignore the cracks in his, broken mirror image. I try to convince, Myself. I know it doesn’t even matter what I was thinking. His mouth moves, I see a chip in his tooth. The same chip, I know I have, on the same tooth. It looks like a glacier sinking into the ocean. He coughs twice, and trembles just the slightest in his left hand. It has a scar that I do not recognize. He tells me he still cannot recognize himself in the mirror. I reply promptly, ‘I know’ and I tell him to keep trying. I ignore, For a second his fiending gaze, And consider for a second, Giving my hand the same scar, So as to sync our demon depression, I can’t even decide which blade to use. His head, has thin gray hairs, that thin upon his dry scalp, there are more than me, they glisten, like nightmare rainbows of dull icicles in summer. All along sad thoughts simmer in my head. I continue stare at the corner. I want to tell him my worries, but I fear he cannot bear it. I want to tell him, My fury that knows no language. I try to sprinkle imaginary flowers on his own. I want to tell him so much, but he's always falling apart. He cannot help me. I cannot help him. I remember two cheap cigars, We shared them on the front porch. I tell him to pray to the Blessed Mother. Just to pray, even if he does not believe. That Her grace may be enough to save him, even if it is not real. |
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| © Copyright 2009 timmybeades - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Interesting poem you have here. It's almost an internal/external monologue but I'm not going to critique it because I'm not sure whether you're here to improve your poetry or just to be heard. If it's the latter you've been heard. Kethry Always do more than is required of you George Patton |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Timmy, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Welcome to Passions! Please, check your Email for a Very Special Greeting! " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
A fascinating conversation! ~ Twixt thyself and thine own self.  Giving a warm, welcoming pip hug ~ to each of you!  EA |
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gilead Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067nevada, USA |
I really enjoyed this, a very imaginative discourse in a kind of duality within the psyche. Happy writing, and I wish you much enjoyment and success in pursuit of poetry! art |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
...interesting...found this phrase to be exceptionally creative: "they glisten, like nightmare rainbows of dull icicles in summer" ...welcome to PiP |
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Boshii2 Member
since 2009-02-01
Posts 146 |
Each verse I began to like you more.I felt like an old friend.You made me feel so comfortable I wanted to help you .But it is probably just a phase. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
This is a powerful piece. Splitting one's darkest thoughts into two entities and creating a mirrored reflection may be the 'safest' way to view/confront the dark side. Welcome to Pips! |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Sometimes we seem to talk to one self Perhaps this piece of yours describes one of those times when we talk to our soul. Perhaps we should do this more often. Intriguing! Welcome too The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I loved this! I can remember as a kid to survive I had this "friend" that sat in the corner across from me, and saw me through the darkest hours of a rotten childhood. I actually held silent conversations with her. This is nature's way I am sure of making sure we survive any load that is just too much for us to carry. Welcome to Passions. Carpe' Diem, |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Welcome to PIP!! Nice to have you...Can't wait to read more from you. |
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