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Marc-Andre
Senior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 501

0 posted 2009-02-09 10:16 PM

Once prying eyes had left the streets for Mass
we broke in through the window at the back,
and hammered chisels through the drywall, to
despoil the liquor store. We sobered up
when waves of  blue and red defiled the air.
As we had left the toilet door ajar
the mirror gave full view of uniforms,
guns, truncheons and Hitlerian moustaches;
in my head lurked a father gone berserk,
and then youth jail; I knew not which was worse.

The moment coppers slinked to con us out
we ducked and slithered to the verging grill,
where I hid in the pantry while Stephane,
a huge hunchback of Notre-Dame that could
not hide in there - went on reconnaissance.
For what seemed hours, I tried to soothe my mind
with songs of AC/DC in my head,
as my heart played the drum. When I heard steps
but not a voice, my legs felt filled with jell-o,
and sweat condensed along my spine. I held
my breath, as I craved for a crap and smoke.

Stephane was back, the cops were still outside,
so we broke in the bar upstairs instead.
I pushed the ceiling tiles, and made my way
through pipes and webs toward the other side,
and then unlocked the door. He found some beer
and cigarettes, and we remained there ’till
moonrise, when cops gave up, and we went home.

I vowed not to attempt such things again,
a resolution kept…but for a week.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2009-02-09 10:59 PM

Yo Mark,

I'm glad you only kept your resolution for a week.

Nice work on this poem.

Bobby

Marc-Andre
Senior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 501

2 posted 2009-02-09 11:09 PM

Thanks for reading and commenting, Bobby. I'm trying to follow some of your previous advice here, aiming for a clearer write. I have bought a Norton anthology than contains modern verses, as I've mainly focused on the older classics so far. I will now try to join this century

This one is written in blank verse, where I aimed for various sonic effects within the lines instead of end-rhymes.

Mark

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

3 posted 2009-02-09 11:24 PM

Yo Mark,

Check out Ai, and Dave Smith.

Bobby

Marc-Andre
Senior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 501

4 posted 2009-02-09 11:31 PM

Thanks Bobby. I've got one of Ai in there, just read it five times...will look for more

Mark

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

5 posted 2009-02-15 09:34 PM

Hey Mark,

I read and enjoyed. I like the branching out and trying other styles too.

Alison

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