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Open Poetry #44
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Roadhouse Red
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Roadhouse Red |
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DharkOne Junior Member
since 2009-01-28
Posts 31 |
All these tired words All these weary skies And I Pretend I have not heard Pretend I am To wonder why It's only in these lights It's only in these falling stars The songs of dead Gods rise Haunted, wasted No thing like music Anymore Menace thy teeth in my skin I am dusty Fragmented gray adrift Before these setting suns Menace my love When does terrible swarm me Fall to the dawn Fall to it all Once again Out on the road, waits.. In here coffee near cold.. Out West lies a lost fate But I'm sure it's been told Out on the road, smokes.. In here telephone rings.. I leave my words A tip And fall Into the hands of these sad things copyright 2009 K.E. Tutterow |
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| © Copyright 2009 DharkOne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
All these tired words All these weary skies And I Pretend I have not heard Pretend I am To wonder why It's only in these lights It's only in these falling stars The songs of dead Gods rise Haunted, wasted No thing like music Anymore Menace thy teeth in my skin I am dusty Fragmented gray adrift Before these setting suns Menace my love When does terrible swarm me Fall to the dawn Fall to it all Once again Out on the road, waits.. In here coffee near cold.. Out West lies a lost fate But I'm sure it's been told Out on the road, smokes.. In here telephone rings.. I leave my words A tip And fall Into the hands of these sad things There are some amazing phrases in here see the ones in bold and some things I don't understand see the italics. Still overall you present the idea of mournful to perfection. Good job. Kethry Always do more than is required of you George Patton |
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DharkOne Junior Member
since 2009-01-28
Posts 31 |
To explain the parts you said you don't understand.. "Menace thy teeth in my skin" Antagonize me and understand that you open a door best left closed. "When does terrible swarm me" When everything comes down upon you at once, or when certain things come down upon one too heavily - in this work it stands in tandem with "Menace my love", which is to say - Do not behave towards me in a manner that disables my ability for compassion, for it surely will not end well for you. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Interesting. Will go to the top so you can be read. latearrival |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Not only a melancholy write, but one with some teeth in it. Very sad, but very good. I enjoyed, and am enjoying your offerings. Thank you. |
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DharkOne Junior Member
since 2009-01-28
Posts 31 |
Thank you all for your words, I am flattered you enjoy my work... I still struggle with / hesitate a bit to critique other's work, because if no one has noticed I'm a bit on the dark side ( It's not just an act ) and a lot of what I read just doesn't strike me as something I ought to be commenting on.... It's not that I'm "Elitist" or whatever - just that I'm just kind of a shadow that wanders around and occasionally has something to write. Folks will let me know if that means I don't "Fit the Program" here, no doubt - but I'll hang around as long as ya let me.. |
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Rick Mordecon Junior Member
since 2009-02-05
Posts 10NYC, N.Y. |
one of the most well realized and nicely expressed poems I've read so far. Well done. |
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