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Open Poetry #44

hold on to your stool

woodtic
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 87

0 posted 2009-01-24 01:18 AM

sipping whiskey
single malt
neat
neater yet
the feelings
get
a little over fine.

thinking would I
like another
one more for the road.

sorry state
my dire fate
if more I would
imbibe.

a draft a sip
the little lift
that covers over
want

what is needed
not received
in this melancholy haunt

dizzy now
this ill effect
embers on my tongue
bar tender
another one

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2009-01-24 07:08 PM

I don't know whether to laugh or cry...

but I am reminded, even as I type that, I am totally capable of both at once.

woodtic
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 87

2 posted 2009-01-24 07:51 PM

thank you for peeking in.

turtle
Senior Member

since 2009-01-23

Posts 548
Harbor

3 posted 2009-01-24 10:02 PM

Hi woodtic,

I liked this one as well. Minimal and rhythmic. The flow of thought also works.

Turtle

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

4 posted 2009-01-24 10:38 PM

I like the short snippy lines, and the way you proceed from a little drink to a little too much to drink. And I especially like the way you don't belabor the reason behind it; you allude, but don't shove it down my throat. Which is a good thing, because I'm only drinking tea.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

woodtic
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 87

5 posted 2009-01-25 02:39 AM

Thanks, there are not many things that keep their taste when shoved down your throat.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2009-01-26 02:33 PM

what is needed
not received
in this melancholy haunt

It rarely is, but we keep looking! *S*

Enjoyed!

woodtic
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 87

7 posted 2009-01-26 09:33 PM

Thanks for lookin in. S

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

8 posted 2009-01-27 07:20 PM

I like the short lines and the way you allude as well. Not too much, just enough.
Ida

woodtic
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 87

9 posted 2009-01-27 11:14 PM

with regard to sipping whiskey that is the wiseset course, thanks Ida

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