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Open Poetry #44
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Cheatin Song
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Cheatin Song |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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At first I felt happy she had a twinkle in her eye As she sat down beside me she sure was lookin fine Through the blaring music noise I could barely hear The sensual suggestions she whispered in my ear. Said her husband left her and she was on the loose Said he always used her bad never told the truth Somethin touched me inside some early warnin sign But the swirling room & her perfume clouded up my mind. My senses were arrested Locked up in a lie In a canyon of abandon I drifted out of line But as we walked out slowly From the crowded bar A soft evening whisper Sent a warning to my heart? Well it musta been the whiskey that dulled my sense of right Cos when I took another look she looked all wrong that night And I could see a another scene quite clearly in my mind A woman waitin home for me while I'm bowlin with the guys. Well there's always somethin out there to steal a best bet But it will never work out cos cheatin yields no rest. So I said to her 'hey baby can't spare the hurt I'd breed Can't justify no nighttime ride on the train to ill deceit My senses were arrested Locked up in a lie In a canyon of abandon I drifted out of line But as I walked home slowly Hurting deep inside A soft evening whisper Brought me peace of mind. IF YOU HAVE TO JUDGE SOMEONE DO IT ON THE SIDE OF MERCY AND LET TIME SEASON THE RESULTS. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Eric, Hey, come on now, be a sport. You did the right thing Eric. This is a very fine poem. I like it loads. Bobby |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Bobby Thank you, you're very kind. Glad you appreciated the moral of the story....I wanna put some music to this but just haven't put it together yet. Take care Eric |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Now, that is the sort of song and movie I wish was the norm on television. It shows that temptation is there and strong, but that one can overcome it. Lovely story/poem/song, Eric - or it will be a lovely song once you have put it to music. And you really need to do it, and you really need to get it sung, especially in bars. It will contribute to world peace (and I am not being funny, because world peace has to do with changing the mindsets of individuals, and it is best done by individuals like you and Kacy and Karilea other people with similar missions). Owl [This message has been edited by OwlSA (01-25-2009 01:20 AM).] |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
this is quite delightful and the story is totally interesting, I love the feelings of the poem and the differenciation between women and men emotions...Sometimes guilty, sometimes unconscious, sometimes simply sharing the best part...Thank you for the enjoyable read. yann |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Eric...you haven't lost the beat in your songs....they just keep playing along. I'm glad!  |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you for the visit Owl and for the fine comments, also for listing me with such fine writers, that truly is a compliment. I will do my best to get this to music and I will post the music here. I truly appreciate your predisposition toward moral values, it's true, the world is lacking in many ways. Take care Eric |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
The perfect tune to this great "Cheatin' Song" lyrics ought to come to you like a bolt out of the True-Blue! ~ Perhaps whilst ye slumber! Eric, I just listened to your songs at SoundClick. Very impressive!  Linda |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Yes my friend, it is that same soft evening whisper that has kept me from a wrongful temptation or three. Ahhh, I knew you were a good man, I could sense it in your spirit. Great tune you Canadian Cowpoke! Richy  |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
Always enjoy your writes...wasn't quite sure how this one would turn out (well, I might add) and I found this gem inside: "In a canyon of abandon"...great line...excellent write |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you for visiting and reading this Yann. Those are very interesting comments and I enjoyed them. Eric |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Martie my dear flower girl friend, thanks for the visit and I appreciate the comments. You can click on the little house and listen some of my demos at soundclick. Have a great day. Eric |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
ethome - I must get the guitar out and put a few chords to this one... BC |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
What a lovely idea, Eric, to post the music here, when you have it! I gather from your reply to Martie, that you sing, yourself and that "post(ing) the music here" will mean not the sheet music, but the sound. I am looking forward to it. Owl |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Linda, Richy & Steaven what a wonderful group of friends you are. Linda thanks for the visit to soundclick and for the kind comments...... Richy I think I'm a combo jazz/blues/rock/country/folk/classic cowpoke but I thank you for the poke anyway.....(smile) Steaven glad I didn't disappoint you and thanks for the kind words. Eric |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Bill Let me know what chords you come up with I might get inspired.....I feel this one as a bit uptempo and not ballad because of fast moving bar scenes etc..... Thanks for the visit, much appreciated. Eric |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Owl Thanks for coming back and I'll let you know the moment I come up with something... Eric |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Completely captivating! *S* I love your rhyme, your tale... and the resolution! *S* |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Suthern Glad you got into it like that I appreciate the visit and the comments. Eric |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Great Cheatin' song, Eric. Ida |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Eric, an excellent message, excellently penned. You and Bobby are my favourite poets here. Mark |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Ida & Marc I appreciate those words and the fine reference to me and Bobby I also thank you for very much. Have a great day to both of you! Eric |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thanks, Eric. I am looking forward to it. Owl |
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