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Open Poetry #44
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Agoraphobia (you are my outside).
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Agoraphobia (you are my outside). |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow 
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The fluff of tree seeds careen into the breeze, and how I long to catch them with my stranded hair, with my yearning fingertips. And my body in liquid avoidance, crying for a deep breath of the air but overcome by the fearful void of that sliding glass door, it never falls broken, never comes open, keeps me leaning toward, but always apart. I close my bitter eyes to the sun, I imagine this is just not the day for courage or play, so I can't help but give up hope on the sway and living Earth. You stand between me and my fear, and I carry the water for the flowers still, crumbling over the weight of you, you are my outside. The dawn never brings me good news, rain never carries you away, your shadow cloud blocking my kindled star, and I've spent my days watching, in horror, as my world continues to wilt without end. Your sour smile only brings more darkness, but you'd love to think yes, you'd love to think you are full of light. You are my night perpetual, you are my outside keeping me in, my quaking Earth that's cracking and breaking in all the wrong places. And shocking in my bedroom you ask that I shall hold you through the moonlight, to rest beside my withered, so you are ready for the 'morrow. And I let you without fight, as if welcoming this sorrow. But little do you know that I have covered all of my future windows, so you know not when to wake. And I take her hand in mind as we shall walk the days in rays of light while you dream of the next charade. I am not your savior, I am your night. Keep my past fears for warmth, for my flowers bloomed as you slept, my love, and you cannot breathe in my scorn. I am your outside, I am your in, I am your fighting words and this is your end. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms K..knew a lady once that wore angora often and left teeth marks and fingernail holes..been scared as heck of her for years..guess that is angoraphobia? enjoyed your context here!! |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
Fears have their power, but we give it to them. Maybe it is because of that power each fear companions with? ...maybe limiting such power eases the particular fear. .... just me, out here looking in my friend. Ct |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Ah Meg..I do not know what to say..I see this as so much more than a phobia and it makes me bleed for you. take her hand...  your words bring everything to life."too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
"my flowers bloomed as you slept, my love" They always edit my posts when I swear. :-/ FREAKing incredible. BatSHOOT wonderful. Mind boggling. Face melting. -P Everyone deserves to be loved, even you. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
felt like a voyeur looking in your outside /inside windows, glad to be able to get out of your torment. powerful feelings evoked by your poetry here |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
very strong emotions in this one ... felt your plight and experienced your sadness ~ beautifully written |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Breathtaking rhythm of strong emotions, dear Kaoru! The healing power of your pen is bringing results. This poem holds strength and trust. Love, Margherita |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Very moving write and certainly most powerful. I held my breath until the end - and then went back to hold it again. Helen |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
And my body in liquid avoidance, crying for a deep breath of the air but overcome by the fearful void of that sliding glass door, it never falls broken, never comes open, keeps me leaning toward, but always apart. I close my bitter eyes to the sun, I imagine this is just not the day for courage or play, so I can't help but give up hope on the sway and living Earth. ~i feel you deeply kao...i too suffer from agoraphobia...my only advice is small steps and self-forgiveness. best wishes... |
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