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Open Poetry #44
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Deux Heures du Matin à Ma Fenêtre (with translation)
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Deux Heures du Matin à Ma Fenêtre (with translation) |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa 
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DEUX HEURES DU MATIN À MA FENÊTRE 4 January 1983 Le silence épais et le ciel presque noir caressent les cimes de mes arbres et je souris tristement sous tes caresses tendres malgré la distance entre nous. La lune pur luit comme un phare et me chauffe au regard de tes yeux doux dans les miens. Les lumières accueillantes étincellent sur la colline et je me demande s’il y a une lumière qui brille dans une chambre … d’une maison … à un village … sur une une petite île … où habite … Mon amour. TWO O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING AT MY WINDOW The thick silence and the nearly black sky caress the tops of my trees and I smile sadly under your tender caresses in spite of the distance between us. The moon glows like a lighthouse and warms me with the glance of your gentle eyes in mine. The welcoming lights sparkle on the hill and I ask myself if there is a light which shines in a room… in a house… in a village… on a little island… where lives… My Love. Owl |
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| © Copyright 2009 Diana van den Berg - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
C'est tendrement romantique, chère Diana! Tout peut devenir réel dans le silence de la nuit. I love it. Hugs. Margherita |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Merci beaucoup, Margherita. C'est vrai, ce que tu dis du silence de la nuit. Il y en a quelque chose de magique. Owl |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I am always in awe of those who are gifted with the ability of languages...  |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Comme la nuit, il y a magique dans votre stylo, mon amie chere!  love and a hug, Linda |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thanks, Karilea. I find languages such fun! Merci beaucoup, tu me fais sourire de joie, ma chère Linda! Owl |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I wish I knew French, I sure this must be just as wonderful in French. Ida |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I sorta think the French version is a little better - and that most times, at least a little is lost in the tranlation, at least in my translations, anyway. But thank you for enjoying the translation so much, Ida. Yes, French is an exquisitely beautiful language, and I was fascinated by it long before I started learning it so I understand how you feel about wishing you knew it. I got such a kick out of giving this rich language to my pupils when I was teaching French. Owl |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
WHAT a grand-fine slice of Romanticism ... particularly the ending: "The welcoming lights sparkle on the hill and I ask myself if there is a light which shines in a room… in a house… in a village… on a little island… where lives… My Love(!)" quite serious and sustained applause for this 'penning'! |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
This is truly beautiful! |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
A very-well penned poem. I agree that the original French is better than its translation, though the latter isn't bad at all  Translating poetry can be a hair-pulling exercise, I sometimes give it a try as a linguistic workout. I've posted one translation of Verlaine, it would be nice to have some feedback on it: /pip/Forum32/HTML/000241.html Have a marvelous day! Mark |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
a most wonderful penning lovely Diana.. thank you for translating it for me... I do adore both versions though .. RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thank you Bruce. I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you amusemi. Thank you Mark/Marc-André. I must admit that I don't really enjoy translating (my own poems - I haven't tried anyone else's). I replied to your post of Paul Verlaine's "Les Ingénus" in your thread. You, too, have a marvelous day. Thank you, Roniece. I am glad you enjoyed both versions. Owl |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Owl - written with a deep passion for romance. Liked this one a lot... BC |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thank you, Bill. I am glad you liked it. Thank you, vandana. Owl |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
How beautifully romantic! *S* Thank you for the translation... this monolingual gal would have hated to miss this beauty! *S* |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
chapeau Owl, je trouve les deux premiers vers et la dernière strophe magnifiques, cette dernière strophe donne bien la distance et l'espérance que traduit ton poème.... je désire ajouter un petit mot: dans la deuxième strophe, en français "au regard" signifie "en considérant que" et donc peut être pourrais tu écrire autre chose en abandonnant la corrélation entre la lune et les yeux...Je te propose : "La lune pure luit comme un phare. je me chauffe de la douceur de tes yeux dans les miens" j'espère que tu ne m'en voudras pas de t'avoir donner ces petits conseils car j'ai trouvé ton poème merveilleux... have a nice day yann |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Mon comment romantique un rêveur vous êtes et je suis sûr qu'il viendra votre façon tout comme vous éloquemment le mettez si dans les mots. Eric |
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poddarku Senior Member
since 2008-01-15
Posts 589india |
Wonderful. I like the way your words always move inward instead of moving outward clever talks delay friendship! |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thank you Ruth. I am glad you enjoyed it. Merci Yann. Merci Eric. Thank you Kushal for your interesting comment that has me pondering about it. Owl |
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