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Open Poetry #44
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2009-05-27 10:33 AM


.


Green leaves
Slowly stir
In gray air

Beyond
Low hills
In a valley
Not far from here
The fallen ruins
Of a small town

The main road
A bed of weeds
What buildings there are
With their wooden eaves
Lean precariously
Against the wind

An empty church
Its windows broke
Now heaven for spiders
Crickets and timid mice
Shadows of symbols
On faded walls

Scraps from a bible
Torn and strewn
On the dusty floor
Hardly legible
A word or two

Faith
Love
The pains
Of Hell

Which it seems
Is something
Of an equation


.



© Copyright 2009 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

1 posted 2009-05-27 12:07 PM


"Faith
Love
The pains
Of Hell

Which it seems
Is something
Of an equation"

...hmmm...thought-provoking, sigh-inducing & unfortunately, and painfully all too real...nice job

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
2 posted 2009-05-27 06:59 PM


GRAND imagery ...

wonderfully PERFECT ending !

significant and sustained applause for this most effective 'penning' !!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2009-05-27 08:09 PM


"An empty church
Its windows broke
Now heaven for spiders
Crickets and timid mice
Shadows of symbols
On faded walls"

Well done visual imagery.
Interesting word choice, heaven as opposed to haven.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2009-05-31 01:40 AM


Fine writing...James
Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
5 posted 2009-05-31 01:51 AM


"Faith
Love
The pains
Of Hell"

Very cool write, and also an honesty some find hard to fathom.

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