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mini poet
Member

since 2000-02-06

Posts 56
Canada

0 posted 2009-05-16 03:10 PM

Clouds and darkness fled the sky
as rolling thunder hushed
A soothing voice
within the wind
against my cheek has brushed
~
A cold trek home like yesterday's
my bones
they feel no chill
Just soothing warmth
a peacefulness
my restless self grown still
The wind
now whispers tenderly
“Things will be alright
Put down those fists
invest a smile
there'll be no fight tonight”
~
Continued on
the same cold path
to castle strong in girth
There behind my castle walls
I sit
to count their worth
~
There was a time
they served me well
but time has come I know
to bid these dreary walls farewell
and let the outside show
So brick by brick
into the night
behind the walls I slave
With tired arms
and heavy eyes
in weariness
I cave
~
A dream so vivid
dreamt that night
a man of kindest heart
worked through the night
till early morn’
he took the walls apart
the walls
had fallen silently
not ever once a stir
till voice I thought
within the wind
spoke clear where walls once were
Only then
before my eyes
this man embraced my view
“The walls are gone” I said relieved
“That voice belongs to you”

Marcia MT
Junior Member

since 2009-05-15

Posts 36
California USA

1 posted 2009-05-16 04:38 PM

Brilliant writing. I really enjoyed reading this.

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

2 posted 2009-05-17 05:31 AM

nicely done Jenn

we like him too

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2009-05-17 07:03 AM

I thought you were new to these pages, but I see you are among the first ones and now you are back. That's wonderful!

I greatly enjoyed your romantic write. Those walls can be so oppressive ... love the conclusion, beautifully written.

Love,
Margherita

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

4 posted 2009-05-17 07:11 AM

Beautiful write. Smooth flow with a story behind it of struggle and determination. I hope you continue too share your tender heart with us...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

5 posted 2009-05-17 09:18 AM

"So brick by brick
into the night
behind the walls I slave
With tired arms
and heavy eyes
in weariness
I cave"

This is both soft and powerful at the same time, Jenn. Very nicely written.
I liked the flavour and feel of this piece and the message as well. Much enjoyed.

Best wishes,
/Kit

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

6 posted 2009-05-17 07:08 PM

loved it...reads so smoothly aloud...

great job!

M

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