»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #44
»
a missed rendez vous
| Open Poetry #44 |
|
a missed rendez vous |
|
|
2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
At seventeen I waited for Suzy, all an afternoon in the rain, by hoping to talk to her, at the time I only trusted in her eyes, in the color of her hair, in the imagination of heart, I have waited a time or two as the hours passed and I left, I have never seen her since but I learned to like the rain and the passing perfumes. Suzy betrayed me but the rain never did . [This message has been edited by 2islander2 (05-17-2009 06:15 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2009 yann rolland - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
EXCELLENT 'write' ! I am particularly fond of the ending: "I have never seen her since but I learnt to like the rain and the passing perfumes. Suzy betrayed me but the rain never did! " ('learnt' is not likely a proper English word though) MUCH applause for this 'penning' !! |
||
|
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Yann, how you recorded this missed rendez-vous is amazing considering the age ... you learnt to love the rain, simply fantastic! "learnt" is correct, but it is used more in UK. Love, Margherita  |
||
|
steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
"I have never seen her since but I learned to like the rain and the passing perfumes. Suzy betrayed me but the rain never did " ...beautiful, so beautiful...well done |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Wonderful writing...all we really have is ourselves...James |
||
|
2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thank you secondhanddreamer for the informative comment, you american differ sometimes from english grammar in a special way, learned or learnt, color or colour, sometimes it is confusing specially for me ... have a nice day yann |
||
|
2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks Margherita for the kind comment, les chemins de l'amour sont impénétrables souvent.... yann |
||
|
2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
thank you very much steavenr, you gave me some happiness. regards yann |
||
|
2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Yes James, deep comment and kind words. thanks yann |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Yann I love this phrase "in the imagination of heart," and I have waited a time or two as the hours passed... nicely done M |
||
|
Osprey Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249 |
I've been back to your poem several times today, it has that haunting effect on me, leaving an indelible image. I especially like, as others have mentioned, those last five lines. What a grand attitude to such a let down. Well written , sir. |
||
|
Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yann, Perhaps Suzy had enough sense not to go out in the rain. This is a nice, well written, poem. Bobby |
||
|
2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks nadthoughts for the reading and the nice comment...I appreciated a lot. yann |
||
|
2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks Osprey for the kind comment...There is something between natural things and human things that is beyond understanding, we need both of them to survive.... best wishes. yann |
||
|
2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Yo Bobby, excellent comment and very appreciated smiles... best wishes. yann |
||
|
Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Sounds like you got the best of that situation, yann and you came away with a lovely poem too. Ida |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
