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Osprey
Member

since 2009-04-12

Posts 249

0 posted 2009-05-14 09:03 PM

Something You Once Said

I thought today of something you once said,
I thought a thousand yesterdays, of the same.

I was falling at the time,
you had never seen me such:
Wild and troubled on the rushing
updraught of love's confusion.

Perhaps your words:
A net?
A net to catch us both.
Butterfly lovers,
courting on the fragile,
dusted wings of forbidden desire;
lost to screaming eyes of frustration,
denied the open simplicity
of an honest touch.

You were never given to such truth,
always so proud,
so cautious.

My vulnerability:
A catylist.
Your opportunity to venture
from your fortress of emotional protection,
high on your hill of passion denied.

But we both slipped through that net,
and all the ardent stitching I could muster
simply fell apart,
with the spoiling weight
of our breathless apprehension.

Watching the clock brings resolution.

The siege tower of my love
is built for victory.
Your fortress awaits the storming.

Just say those words once more.

[This message has been edited by Osprey (05-15-2009 04:24 AM).]

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

1 posted 2009-05-15 04:26 AM

enjoyable read, like the metaphor of the fortress besieged.

have a nice day

yann

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

2 posted 2009-05-15 07:27 AM

Oz, enjoyed the fragile iron of this, the stones and erosion capture of threshold edge...

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member

since 2009-03-11

Posts 1257
Louisiana

3 posted 2009-05-15 08:25 AM

Now Osprey...it's my turn to say I relate.
I loved this.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

4 posted 2009-05-15 09:00 AM

I couldn't pick any one line, there were so many poignant and exciting thoughts that raced my mind while I read this.

Sounds like you already know the answer

Did you know what a talent you have for this gig?

unboundpoetess
Member

since 2008-05-24

Posts 477

5 posted 2009-05-15 12:58 PM

Grand writing here, Poet.

When I grow up, I want to write like this.

Heather

Rex
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 482
Houston, Texas

6 posted 2009-05-15 01:02 PM

As lovely as "Butterfly lovers"...very well done.

Regards.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

7 posted 2009-05-15 01:56 PM

excellent imagery...

particularly liked these lines (though it was all magnificent):

"Butterfly lovers,
courting on the fragile,
dusted wings of forbidden desire;"

...that is simply lovely...

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

8 posted 2009-05-16 01:10 AM

"I thought today of something you once said,
I thought a thousand yesterdays, of the same."

... And I went on to love every line that followed those. This is a keeper for me.

Thank you.
A

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