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leeler12
Junior Member

since 2009-04-29

Posts 15
Manchester, New Hampshire

0 posted 2009-05-07 07:40 PM

I sit there quietly,
Peacefully taking your riducle,
My unshed tears hiding,
refusing to refuel you.

You tell me to speak,
Because you can't understand the unsaid
You don't know whats in my heart
Don't care whats in my head.

Why bother telling you
That there's really something wrong?
That the reason I'm so distant
Is that I can't stand not being strong?

I'm sorry you can't comprehend my speachlessness,
that my wordless voice can't be heard.
But if you can't understand my silence,
How will you ever understand my words?

"you can't gain anything , until you lose something"

[This message has been edited by leeler12 (05-07-2009 08:26 PM).]

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2009-05-07 07:58 PM

Yo Leeler12,

You might think about capitalizing your first person singular personal pronouns. That would avoid confusing constructions like "i'm".

Bobby

leeler12
Junior Member

since 2009-04-29

Posts 15
Manchester, New Hampshire

2 posted 2009-05-07 08:18 PM

I agree! I was in a rush typing that one, I had an 11 month old pulling at me leg. I didn't really have time to go back and edit after I had typed, I have now learned to never try to post something while she's awake =). Thanks!

"you can't gain anything , until you lose something"

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

3 posted 2009-05-08 05:16 AM

But if you can't understand my silence,
How will you ever understand my words?

this is one of the most talking verse i ever read, thanks for the emotion.

yann

leeler12
Junior Member

since 2009-04-29

Posts 15
Manchester, New Hampshire

4 posted 2009-05-08 08:27 AM

Thanks Yann! I'm glad you enjoyed it =)

"you can't gain anything , until you lose something"

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

5 posted 2009-05-10 12:04 PM

quote:
But if you can't understand my silence,
How will you ever understand my words?

I love those two lines. They are powerful and just hammer your point home. Good writing - I can't wait to see what you share when you don't have a little one pulling at you.

Thank you for this one.
Alison

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2009-05-11 03:13 PM

But if you can't understand my silence,
How will you ever understand my words?

Oh, wow!!! Great poem... such a superb ending!!

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

7 posted 2009-05-11 03:33 PM

Daaaang, really loving this. Powerful stuff.

leeler12
Junior Member

since 2009-04-29

Posts 15
Manchester, New Hampshire

8 posted 2009-05-11 08:04 PM

Glad you guys liked it =)... It's funny, i wasn't sure about the ending for some reason and it seems to be everyones favorite part haha

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